Machiam2 Youu..

Cause God won't put you through things you can go through.

2010-08-16T10:41:00.001-07:00

It's been almost a year and a half since my big shift to Kelantan. The experience has been good so far, though sometimes I still struggle under the pressure of the society, and that mostly comes from my thoughts. I can't say I've been fully comfortable walking in my shoes here. I guess that's just part of life. One day I'll look back and say, "Ah well, those were the 4 most uncomfortable years of my life. I felt out of place. But I achieved my degree in that time." So yeah, always something good out of everything. I believe in that.

A Meme, mimsy.

2009-10-25T07:21:00.001-07:00

1. The phone rings. Who will it be?
Arif. Just to tell me he loves me. *background goes 'awwww..'*

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
I don't use the cart; I usually try to juggle as many things as I can in my hand near my breasts or if it starts falling off, use the basket. Exercise, of course. I'm very particular in how my biceps can contribute in every possible way. I'm serious. *_*

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Talker. I try to live in the lines of 'Don't talk when you can nod' though, so that's a start isn't it? Realisation.

4. Do you take compliments well?
If it's with a close friend I'll be all, 'Tell me something I don't know' while batting my eyelashes; and if it's not, it's the same.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Oh yes, I'm quite good at it actually. Addictive, those stuff. *background goes 'NERD!*

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
No. Even after spending a bit of my life leading tracks in the forest, No. Not alone. Maybe with Gary.

7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yes, tons. I refuse to go to formal camps now that I've grown up.

8. What was your favourite game as a kid?
Move the furniture around the house and create your own castle!

9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he was married, would you?
If he was Batista then YES! YES BABY OH, YES!

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I have. It went well till his mother butt in. We know what religion he is now don't we.

11. Use three words to describe yourself.
Oh plz. Seeing V's answer made me haughty to this question.

12. Do any songs make you cry?
Aaaah.... Wait, Avenged Sevenfold's most sappy song. 'Dear God'. When Arif was with another girl and he sent me that song. Hahaha. Jiwang habis. Man, those were the days.

13. Are you continuing your education?
I'd be replying this gaily if the university's location is in the Bahamas. Or even Sarawak lah wei.

14. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
No but I can do a pretty neat side kick, an impressive kick on the groin and my cuspids are decent enough for a good old classic bite.

15. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yes, often actually. I still wish those were around. Damn one ringgit paper notes.

16. How often do you read books?
More textbooks in uni, but I make an effort to borrow 2 fictions at a time at least. That's the maximum. For fiction. *rolls eyes*

17. What is your favourite children's book?
Timpetill from Manfred Michael. Roald Dahl comes next. I can't describe Timpetill. Find it and read it. Just read it.

18. What colour are your eyes?
Dark brown. Black. V's right, it doesn't matter in this part of the world. You should probably ask how hairy I am or something. You'd get a longer answer.

19. How tall are you?
A forgivable 5.0something feet. Because my boyfriend is big and tall and muscular. And I like my man big.

20. Where is your dream house located?
Would you believe it, Malacca? It's historical and touristy. And filled with beautiful things like dresses and handmade goodies. I'm shuddering thinking about it already. I can't wait. You're welcome anytime dear bloggers.

21. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grab?
Nothing. I'll panic and just run out. Screw materialism! Oh, my sister maybe.

22. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Where?

23. Where was the furthest place you travelled today?
PPSG. Pusat Pengajian Sains Pergigian. I have the best dentals I tell you. Doctors were amazed by my teeth. Never been scaled before, hardly rinse my mouth with mouth-wash or floss my teeth. Yet they did a thorough check-up on EVERY tooth and gum. Jeez. I've never been prouder in my life. *chest puffing out*

24. Do you like mustard?
With chilli sauce in 1901 beef hotdog. *stomach rumbles* Dang Kelantan. WHY no hotdogs?!

25. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Dad mostly. I have my mom's attitude.

26. Can you do the splits?
Used to. Now I have like, 6 more inches more to go before my crotch hits the bottom. Ugh.
How crude Hannah.

27. What movie do you want to see right now?
'This Is It'. Actually I crave to see ANY movie right now. There's not even a single cinema here.

28. What did you do for New Year's?
Boy V, what a coincidence. Stayed over at Grandma's (too), ate ice-cream or ayam masak merah (either) and watch Singaporeans try to act like they're having the time of their lives in the New Year's Eve party on national tv. And then I went to sleep.

29. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes I do.

30. What's the last letter of your middle name?
Middle name? Those things don't exist when you're of a Malay descent. Oh I suppose H would suffice.

31. What do you wear to sleep?
Whoa. Explicit content.

32. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Lively. I like lively people. I can't stand extremists.

33. Did you eat a cookie today?
Oreos. They complete me breakfast respite today.

34. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Shaize. What?

35. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I don't download music. No seriously. I don't. That's just ghastly. *tut tut*

36. What do you and your parents fight about?
Oh where do I start? But we're pretty balance out actually cuz my father says 'sucks' and 'bullshit' and my mother barbie-talks to us sometimes.

37. Are you a gullible person?
Oh man, this is actually embarassing. I'm actually bully material. Nuff said. V will be my protector from all evil beings who try to take my innocence away. *runs to corner and cries*

Happy Birthday V!

2009-10-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

You must know that I am doing this on behalf of V's birthday. Because I assume this would be what she expects from me most. (I will ignore the fact that she actually REQUESTED it)

Well actually I gave the idea. Much less messy than posting Nasi Kerabu to Klang.

So Happy Birthday my dear girl. 19! Wowee. It's not much different from 20 really, I mean you aren't even the rebellious type so that's no fun. *hides snort* But then again you're awesome darling, that goes without saying. As far as pigs can fly (no, I'm kidding), you're the best internet buddy EVER and my greatest wish is to see you happily ever after with a certain figure oozing military macho-ness by your side. Or rub asses with Sigur Ros. Nevertheless, I wish you all the best in life *pats head*

I shall now attempt to menghiburkan you with what's been happening in my dear life tersorok in Kelantan. Do you want me to be optimistically disgusting or serve you the ugly truth on a silver plate?

*dumps 3-in-1 serbuk milo in mouth*

...*wipes mouth with the back of hand*

It sucks. It's as dead as a tikus tepi jalan. It's all pretty and such but really, for someone as vociferous as I am, (for those who knows me personally they nod their heads. See I told you so.) I'm practically suffocating in all this green serenity. Me! Complaining about the abundance of greenery and calmness and yada yada yada. It's all pretty at first but when it starts dawning on me that things aren't gonna get better or, 'livelier' during the weekends, I practically burst.

I shall not even touch on the people here. ( Medical + Dental + Allied Health Science = Let's just eat sleep poop and study for the next 5 years friends )

I'm just hanging on to a gnarly string of hope; to finish this off and get out of here. And get married to Arif of course.

But yeah, I guess when you're alone in a different place it gives you time to think so that's makes up for all the ishty business I have to go through.

Moving on, Arif's been a complete love to me. The obsessive hopeless jiwang he is, his world revolves around me. Which is unhealthy. Which, made me told him so.
What would you do if your partner is just the exact opposite of who you are? Isn't compatibility one of the important factors that builds a relationship?
And sometimes I have to wonder; why am I even complaining? I wanted him in the first place but...he's a boy V, a BOY. Sigh.

My mood has turned into a complete permanant waste-paper basket since being here. Amidst all the glamour of being in an APEX university, my life is as mundane as a rock.

It's more than culture shock when you see your room-mate waking at 1 am to study right till the next morning and go straight to school. I mean, what the hell? Don't they have a LIFE?! The ultimate entertainment here? The bowling alley in KB Mall or PCB- Pantai Cahaya Bulan.

I'm ranting too much; it's frustrating when you can't find anyone that's even near half a kepala as you are, it sucks even more when they label you as the 'Singaporean' and treat you like a musuem artefact, complete with pongos and feathery head- gears.

Sorry, I've never really told anyone how I felt. I needed that. And I haven't even expressed with profanity here; I'm being a good girl.

DESPITE that, (hehe) I LOVE my new home. V, you HAVE to come over one day. We've decided to christen it *clears throat*.. 'Anjung Kao Chap Kao' which is Anjung 99. Kao Chap Kao is 99 in hokkien and fits perfectly since Klang's major chinese community speaks Hokkien. The irony of it is our neighbour (I wonder if you know Louisa; from church maybe?) well yeah, she's our neighbour and her house is a mini-church. You'd put the cross sign on the roof and I'd be expecting people to come for mass every Sunday. Whereas our house next to it is like, the ultimate kampung/colonial getaway. Complete with atap nipah and a patio made from wood,a black and white exterior, a pond and a red gate.

"Haaallelujah" and Kao Chap Kao. I love it.

When does you STPM finish anyway?

I shall now do a meme. From your blog.

P.S: Anyone who's..anyone is welcome to comment on the blog and give me ideas, advice, answers whatsoever in any of my questions. Particularly about Arif. I am virtually, stuck.

The Attempted Resolution-Making List

2009-01-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

I never really thought abt making new year's resolutions this year. For a permulaan, I've never taken these things seriously as opposed to...what freebies/new limited goodies Starbucks is giving out. I've probably never made one.

I guess I shall give it a try...
something realistic. Duh. *snorts*

1. Be smarter.
(My amazing self wonders how this is possible because my existence is beyond all this lowly tardy things such as smartness. *Sigh*....but I suppose one must be modest in such things and realise new-age shits such as 'constantly improving' oneself)

2. Be more modest?
(HAHA)

3. Patience...is a virtue...
(Something I actually see in me 'improving', thanks to the relationship with Arif. Lotsa give and take. Fudging consideration. It's killing me inside but...SUPPRESS the NEED TO ARGUE GIRL, DAMMIT!)I love the dude, and patience is a bloody virtue. (Whoever made that up should rot and be eaten by farting bats. PAin I tell u..sakiiiiiiiitt hati giler) But it's already under construction so.. BEEH PROUD OF ME YEW MORONS!

4. Meet V.
(nO EXCUSES. SUDAH TENTU kena buat ini resolution. My one and only setia reader of this....rats poo of merepeks)

*I can't think of anything else. Shittt. Resolution falls short of one number. I need at least 5!**squirms*

5. Err.... SING MORE!

TA-DA!! There. I did it. Simple enough I reckon, sume insya-Allah boleh dicapai punye. I feel proud of myself already *beams*.

So apa macam? Boleh kaa??

Any horse can do no.5 but I think the modesty crap is gonna be a hailstorm for me...Hmm..

Just to menggembirakan you all with what's been happening.

2008-07-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

Well HEL-LO dear bloggie. It seems a while since I've done anything on u. *YAAAAAAAAAAWN* No surprise there.

Ah anyway, since my 'love life' has finally found it's way back to Mars, here I am..blogging...having a day off from work.. going to gym. Life procedes back to normality once he stops picking me up. Or more like once he's in Penang and we've gone our separate ways.

(Cuz you see, when he picks me up I can't go to the gym you know, cuz we'd spend time with each other and yada yada yada.)

But GOD, I went for two classes today and surprisingly, boleh tahan laaa..
Woke up with a few sakit sinih, sakit saneeerh tp still living laa(dah karat kan, screw pun loose). My bontot lebih kecik though, I dunno I've been subconsciously complaining it to anybody who would listen. Or pretend to look interested. Beehcause muh booty is MUH asset! But anyway, nvm. It means it's time to get neeeeww JEANS!!

(For the life of me, I suck in looking for that particular typa pants. You good at it? *nods head at you* Cuz if you are then I need you to teman me get some new ones. Naaw, I don't use Levi's or anything, jeans can come from tepi jalan pun takpe, as long as it looks good on me :P)

Anyway met up with San after gym yesterday for a drink (she just came back from a very EVENTFUL trip in Penang...hmm hmm..*wiggles eyebrows*) Stupid girl didn't get his number. I couldn't chekik-ed her in front of that decent-looking dude with sideburns sitting in front of us.

oh ALIF!! (Kan San, kan?????)

HAW HAW HAW.

I purchased this FANTASTICALLY GORGEOUS new pair of pumps from Marie Claire *psst..it's the leather collection-tee hee* and although it cost a bomb..Oh well, shoes is another thing altogether. I tak pandang harga. Lain tu sume berkire jugak ah but shoeeess...purple pumps. Wanted to get the green one tp dah HABIS and before I could gasp out of breath, I took the LAST pair of the purple ones (Which is, F.Y.I ppl, my second favourite colour)

It was made for me.

Sigh.

Picked up Arlina from Batang Berjuntai with Ibu...good to see her again.

Well ituh saja my life for the past days. Supposed to be in Sungkai handling GIS students but you all pun tau lah kan betapa SAYANGNYA I dekat budak2 GIS tuh. Tak berani dkt kat diorang pun, biarlah Gary handle itu SPOILED BRATS sorang2.

HAHA. I'm terrible. Actually that's why I took the days off, for the fieldtrip but sokay, I'm NOT going to go to the clinic unless they call for an emergency or something.

Alrighdos, that's the current update of my life this time. Nothing much, Arif had some trouble just cutting us off for awhile but he's ok now and I hope he grows up to be a better man in the future. Dia mcm budak kecik lar, I can't stand it sometimes. Really bloody hell annoying and I know what you're thinking so DON'T even bother asking me why I fell for him cuz I dunno the ans myself.

Sometimes not having a reason is all there is anyway.

Toodles ppl. I'm meeting my darling San again for lunch or something. (She cried reading the previous blog post weih..hehehe) Ooi V, why your class with Bimla Fraayday lah, I work night shift laah.

Tp takpe, kite akan mencari jalan untuk mengharungi cabaran dan dugaan yang menghalang kite drpd ber-meeting up.
;D.

Ciaoz peeps, my butts achin' from sitting already. Yow.

Of love. And sacrifice. Really.

2008-06-30T06:02:00.000-07:00

It ended well.
It ended today.

"Tolong pegangkan."
"Buku ape ni?"
"Ibu bagi you."
"Ibu bagi? For what?"
"Ntah...ibu bagi Kak In, Kak Ina, Me, one to Fana and one to you."
"But...I dunno how to read Arab. Ni Arab ke jawi?"
"Jawi."
"Oh ok. Then I boleh baca."

I couldn't read a word. It was a photostated hand-written book and the smaller one copied from a book. But Ibu bagi? She obviously knows.

There was much 'output' from me today when he picked me up. So much frustrations out, all the mini pre-frustrations packed and walloped into one just gushed out from my mouth after we sent Jaya home. I told him things I told before, I sweared at him; I hit him, I questioned him, at one time I teared in my most vulnerable moment, I demanded an answer. I was tired. Be a man, dammit.
And I calmed down at parts where I just needed to let him seep all I've said. He kept quiet all the way. I couldn't look at him. He looked straight at the road.
And when we reached, "I'm sorry".
I gave him my two shits.
"Ok I won't message you anymore, I won't call, I won't see you anymore."
And I was happy that he made the decision. But I cried. I really couldn't help it.

We sat down at the school foyer when waiting for Adlan. And we talked and talked some more. Sometimes I cried. Sometimes he said sorry. There were times where I even laughed and smiled, because I was relieved. That we're finally separated from this 'pressure' built in between us. He was silent most of the time. All he did was look at me and let me do all the talking.
"It would be difficult at first of course, but don't worry ok, I can take care of myself. I have a good feeling bout this."
"But I hurt you. And I love you."
"Doesn't matter, we do what's right. Allah has His reasons why all this happened ok. Kite kena yakin Arif. Macam Mama cakap kan, if things were meant to be, it will happen dengan izin Allah. Maybe it's not gonna happen now, kita 2 belum matang lagi kan."
"I'm sorry Hannah." He continued looking.
"Ah don't worry. Don't be sorry for doing something right. I know it's for the best. You kena redha lar dengan keputusan yang you dah buat."
"But I don't feel happy with it, at all."
"Insya-Allah, hati you akan tenang nanti. You love Fana ok, you must really love her to accept her after she did it the second time Arif. We'll see how it goes."

And I made him promise me stuff and I promised to take care of Mama and Papa.

"The only bad part about this is I can't see Adlan and Ibu anymore... U ah. Takpelar at least Ibu gave me something before this all ended."

He took out the hair from my face and I kept changing my sitting positions. All he did was look.

The school bell rang. Adlan appeared and he salam-ed me and 'Acu'. He held my hands as we walked back to the car.

"Adlan ada homework? Adlan potong rambut eh?"

"A'ah." And he smiled the cutest smile ever with his doggone sleepy eyes.

I took Adlan's picture in the car. It suddenly dawned on me that I'd never pick him up from school again or buy him Happy Meals with Arif. Or I'd layan him with the free toys that come with it.

And I teared because I am positively in love with the 7 year-old brat.

And Arif held my hands. For the first and last time. He didn't allow me to pull away throughout the whole journey home.

"Why did it have to end like this? Why did it have to start and end like this?"

He's right. It all started and ended the exact same way.

"Let me buy you coffee please. Or chocolate."

He wanted to spend more time with me. Not possible.

"No. No, you need to let me go soon anyway."

"Not now, no. Please, let me get you something. Anything."

He held my hand tighter.

I looked away till we reached home. He took my hand in both of his and looked at me. I smiled.

"Time to go."

"Adlan salam mama."

"Bye mama." And he smiled his most sincere smile ever. My heart melted at the sight of it. Oh the innocence of a young child. He jumped to the front seat and waved.

Arif looked at me expectantly.

"Bye."

And he waited till I got through the gates to the front door. I looked back and he left.

I found Mama peeking through the curtains.

"What? I was just looking, cannot ah."

I sighed and balanced my right arm on the front door gate.

"It's over."

"What's over?"

"Me and him. We're not gonna call or msg or meet each other anymore." And my tears suddenly flowed again, there and then. I cried at the front door.

"Awwh..." And she held out her hands for me to hug her.

"What you go through when you're growing up Nona..."

"Yeah I know. And I dunno how to read Arab. Jawi. Anyway I'm gonna be down the whole night today Ma."

She looked through the books Ibu gave and told Papa what happened. "Read the books eh, orang dah bagi."

It was some books pasal solat and hadith and stuff.

"Yang tua tu dah suke yang kat muda lah."..."Arif dah ade girlfriend.."..."Macam tu lar..." Mama told Papa. My father's a bit slow.

"Sebenarnye dalam Islam tak boleh mcm tu tau. You need to be friends."

"We tried, it didn't work. Nevermind lah, we'll see how it goes."

"Yeah, you're still young."

Kakak was all out for us going our separate ways cuz she's been cheated on before.

"It should be that way what!" She shrieked.
(She's been bugging me to think about it, to not stoop so low as the girl and blah blah blah. I got her. I really did.)

It lasted a month. No, we were never together but we got 'close'. I'm glad it didn't go any further.

I'm still ok now, I feeling much calmer about things. Everything.
I'm not the 'other girl' anymore and I'm happy he made the decision by himself. Rather than me, constantly ordering and forcing him to DO something about the situation, yet loving him at the same time.

We'll see.

I didn't feel too hard-pressed because this is what I 'wanted'. Somewhere deep inside me I know I'm contented.

It ended quite, quite well.

Nutter punye keje.

2008-06-29T05:06:00.000-07:00

It started like this,
I put on a new lipstick.
A colour I bought,
but never used it.
It was a lovely Sunday,
no cars wheezing by.
I wanted to walk
But papa wouldn't allow it.

The colour was lovely
an orangey-pink.
I was obviously positively glowing :)
He woke me up, saying,
"Wake up sayang, it's 6.19, Subuh already."
It's only last night
that we went mamak-ing.

It was a lovely day,
I finished the clinic's monthly Billing.
I laughed so much;
till Jagdish's tears started pouring.
Muji's going back
We spring-cleaned the clinic.
He said, 'Baby should I wear baju Melayu or jeans?'
'It's a freaking wedding babe.... pakailah jeans' :P

I'm listening to Marvin Gaye
'Oooooooooooh Baaaaaaaaaaaaby..'
Then a little bit of Jamie Scott.
Britney, Wyclef Jean,
some Joshua Radin;
while eating Jacob's high-fibre biscuits.

It's been a lovely day, really.
I tied up my hair
and didn't look half messy.
I did my job well;
I didn't break anything.
Ok so he said something stupid (again)
but that's about it.

A Ballad. I like this V.

2008-06-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

The ballad, I; I shun the world,
Its bustle and its noise,
Its busy hasty rushing crowds
And bright consumer toys.

Indeed, I sometimes like the old
Because it's not the new;
And if you think that's strange or wrong,
I might not much like you.

What'>http://quiz.ravenblack.net/poeticform.pl">What Poetry Form Are You?

100 Pointless Pointlessness You Might Wanna Know.

2008-05-20T21:32:00.001-07:00

Aaaaiii Haaaaaaaaaaave Deeeeeeeeeeeesssaaaaaaaaiiiided..... to let it go.

Just let it be. Never does anyone good to butt in a 2 year-old relationship (whether it works both ways or not). But it's a much safer option for me.

And jodoh tak ke mana kan, so no worries for you there Hannah. I'll work my ha-ass off on someone who's ...uhm...single? maybe, for starters. HAha. Joke. *rolls eyes*

I'm listening to Saliva. "Let me rest in pieeeeeeeeeeeeecesssssssss"

Oh HULLO Julez baby darling! Yeah I blog. *stifled laugh* More like, I TRY to. In fact, I think I used to be just a tweeeny bit slightly more active in my yesteryear-old Friendster blog. It's my other pile of jargons. Deeper stuff when I look back in it.

Proves I'm less mellow after a long time! "GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE!How do you DO??"

I watched 'The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants' last night. Heard the soundtrack ages ago but finally got to watch it yesterday. Not bad. The sweet, destiny, friendship-ish kinda stuff. I felt that I would have like it more have I watched it earlier (I don't know where that came from). But it was just ok for me. I love the Bailey-Tibby relationship though. I cried, of course. I even cried when Lena says, "I love you" to Kostas. *.......droopy smile*

Don't you just think you're able to know someone without meeting him or her by observing the little things she does in certain circumstances at certain times? Like, V, don't you know what kind of person I am already? All you need is that lump of meat placed somewhere on the top of your head and a good shot at guessing.

Ok no, seriously. The brain part, very true. It's not judging but one seriously does not need a certificate in Psychology to know 'who's the what' kind of person.

You get me. Kan. Here's your meme.

Anyway the 100 POINTLESS FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME.

1. I find fruits (apples, pears) in my bags these days. They tend to 'mysteriously' appear out of nowhere- till I remember nenek brought back some for me from Sgp. Or that I brought it to work for something to munch on and only realised it back at home that night.

2. I have no sense of creativity. I cannot draw or even colour in the lines to save my life. I'm stupid, at that.

3. I cook. I clean. I take care of kids. People reckon I can become a good mother. I laugh out of politeness. The other option would be scoffing in their faces.

4. My worst fear is to become a terrible parent. *_*

5. I go to gym but I'm still fat. Overweight. Plump. Whatever you want to call it. It's still 'bigger than your average size in Malaysia.'

6. I cut my own hair. When I'm bored.

7. People think I'm smart because I sound smart when I'm in fact, a no-brainer, academically. I'm streetsmart smart, not textbook-smart smart.

8. I'm not sure whether I can make it to twenty at this rate. I can't think. (Psst, How'd you DO it Vanessa?)

9. I dislike horror/seram/gory/suspense/menakutkan/makes-my-heart-wanna-stop-there-and-then/disgusting books/movies/visions/ shtuffs.

10. My ears are unbalanced (imbalanced?). I hv one smaller, impishly pointed ear on the left. (on your right side when you look at me lah) My mom calls it 'special' to cover-up from the truth. My sisters say I'm distorted. I think my ear got stuck when Mom gave birth to me.

11. I still have EVERY SINGLE ONE of my soft toys :) I used to bring ALL of them around when I was eight. Yes, I had emotional issues. When I was eight.

12. My biggest achievement would be representing the country for some environment conference in Eastbourne. When I'm not Malaysian. And I'd get so irritated at the reporters that came all the way there for some 10 min interview I dissed them off by saying no. I swear I didn't know that spelled 'S-O-M-B-O-N-G'. (Apologies, if any one of you are reading this. Though you're probably somewhere annoying the ass off some politician.)

13. I am technologically impaired. As quoted by Kakak *clears throat* ," What CENTURY were you born IN?!"

14. I just realised I made it past ten! Ooh, I'm starting to get the hang of it.

15. I only have one ex. No, seriously. The serious serious one worth counting. One.

16. I LOVE eating powdered Milo and Horlicks. Just the powder. Spoonfull after spoonfull.

17. I have little, or no Malay blood in me. I am a citizen of SOUTHEAST ASIA. *smiles princess smile and waves*

18. My glasses have always been, and will always be crooked. Thanks to my wonderfully distorted ears. That makes me tilt my head a little to the side to give you the impression I have perfectly balanced glasses perched on my nose.

19. I sleep with Mr. Silverstone, Prudence, and Gabriel. Every night. Foursome.....*nods head with mysterious look on face*

20. I lick the medicine bowls in the clinic. Especially 'Max Kaolin'. It smells like vanilla-ed batter and tastes like thick bittersweet Ribena.

21. I'll have tons of orang asli's in my wedding.

22. I read the comics section in The Star first. Just to keep the mood light before it plunges into depths of devastation on future devastating reads.

23. When I clean, I really really scrub hell outta stuff. When I don't, I let it be (black, brown, one-inch dusty). I think I'm an extremist. *purses lips*

24. I'm the kind of person that would... accidentally drop the mop on one hand, and get shocked by the noise. And then drop the penyapu from the other hand, and squeak at the noise it makes too. And when I bend down to pick both up, my butt hits the medicine shelf. The contents go 'GEDEBUSH!' all over the floor.

25. I love Britney's songs.

26. I'm a walking-talking-driving catastrophe. And that's an understatement. I have had 3 accidents so far, with the car of course. We don't wanna go to where my hands, legs, butt, and even head can go.

27. I blame my mother for bad-skin, eczema, over-zealousness and for being an emotionally challenged human-being.

28. My mom loves all the boys I bring home. Too bad she used to tell me AFTER the relationship ended.

29. I enjoy music more by dancing, rather than listening to it. But I do enjoy listening to the likes of Silverchair and Muse and Meet Uncle Hussain. So I'm balanced, really.

30. Thirty? Only?

31. I think it's going to rain.

32. I never cease to be constantly amazed at my body. How the scar got there, how I'd wiggle my toes, how beautifully my nails grow and, oh, was that bulge there last night?

33. I'll tell you this. I used to iron ALL of my siblings' uniform when I was 9 every Sunday night. At my own will. I recall the iron being awfully heavy and each of us had 3 or 4 sets of uniforms. I'd ask Arif and Nafisah to collect all the hangers around the house for me so I can use them. I have no idea why I did that. I stopped. Thank God.

34. I'm a Barney baby, and proud of it. I still know all the songs by heart. I know how to use my imagnation.

35. I see a lot of things in detail but I'm a very careless person. Which is darn frustrating.

36. I have dry hair.

37. Oh which somehow reminds me of this. My hairdresser used to try to hit on me.

38. I had a lesbo after me. *Shudder*

39. I tend to re-use my outfits when I have so many others. I guess I'm a 'comfort' sorta person. Image doesn't mean much to me. It isn't the ultimate. Feeling good would reflect me thinking I look good so of course I look good. Hahaha.

40. I don't really like men sometimes.

41. It's RAINING! Whee.

42. I started taking the bus alone from one grandparent's house to another in Singapore when I was eight. You can do that there. NEVER try that here.

43. My hairstyle changes tend to be dramatic. I can't have long hair all the time.

44. Blogging is very time-consuming isn't it,V?

45. I am somehow, capable of mixing two different kinds of tablets in one envelope.

46. I can wonderfully mimick Shakira's goat-like voice. "I'm staarrrting to belieeeve, it should be illEgal to deceeive a woman's heart."

47. But I fail to shake like her. She's got batteries on her booty. It turns on and off on impulse deciding whether she's feeling hyped or down.

48. Once a upon a time, I believed someone when he said 'Hannah, do know that 1+1= 1.99999? It's true! It came out in Al-Jazeera and CNN today. Seriously girl.'

Hannah: "GASP! Really?! Omg that's amazing! How'd they find that out?"

I never got over the shock of my apparent stupidity.

49. I fidget a lot. I'd probably be swinging my legs underneath the table or even just my foot when someone asks me to stop shaking my leg. Or when I'm standing waiting for someone/something I'd drum my fingers against the closest thing to me. It's very unladylike but hey, you gotta love me.

50. I've recently started to eat like a normal human being. Maybe more. A typical 'stuff-yourself-sick' day in Jusco would be eating a quarter chicken set in Nandos, and then drop by 1901 for a great beef Hot Dog and the last would be a grande fruppochino from Starbucks. And maybe some ice-cream if there's some space left. Oh, I can eat a lot.

51. And before that all I could eat was a tiny portion of everything on a plate and complain about the kenyang-ness of it. Tsk. I didn't know life.

52. I don't know why I do this, but whenever I look in the mirror (at home), I smile and strike a pose. I think I'm just awestruck by the awesomeness of my whole perfect self. You can't get any better than this.

*Vanessa, or anyone reading this stares at the bluntness of it all. She then proceeds to rush to the bathroom to instantly stop the productivity of her digestive system by disallowing her dinner to come out the right way.*

53. I love looking at olive oil bottles stacked neatly in supermarket shelves.

54. All my wisdom teeth doesn't hurt while on its growing process. At all. It's still there.

55. I have gory visions of of myself getting hurt. Like accidentally missing one step of the stairs and falling head on down. Or getting my head stuck in some ... thing. All this started after I watched Final Destination.

56. My current mission is to fill up a whole plastic bag full of rolled up tiny cotton ball swipes.

57. People think I'm Sabahan.

58. I talk to myself a lot but you probably knew that already.

59. I clean my ears twice a day.

57. I have always and will always love the 'Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm' era. Where there is no such thing as ladies wearing pants and all they put on everyday is lacey skirts with matching little bonnets. And you've got Anne's and Rita's and Gabriella's sipping tea with their little pinky pointed upwards exchanging views on Oscar Wilde's latest controversial play.

58. I have a special gift. I am able to bend my thumb backwards till it looks like some pressed crescent moon.

59. I am also blessed with the gift to bend my back backwards without breaking it.

60. I dislike hard egg yolks.

61. I love weddings and happy endings.

62. I permanently have 2 Asli bands on my right hand, and one darker one on my left.

63. I try to look nonchalant when the doctor pokes around the female patient's boobs in front of me.

64. The only way to keep me quiet for more than two hours is to present me with a box of good, quality, 1000+ colourful puzzles. I'd shut up as long as it takes me to finish it.

64. I'm addicted to coffee and life.

65. On a debate with some school from Negeri Sembilan, I gave my views flawlessly. With my hands shaking.

66. I have a terrible short-term memory.

67. I have been trying to follow the Scottish accent for a year but susahlah. I absolutely love the way it sounds though.

68. I like the smell of petrol, marker pens, and that instant 'whoosh' you smell when you step in Body Shop.

69. I shop in Singapore, I don't shop here. It's because the number looks bigger here (double) and I'm still not used to it till today. I subconsciously stick to the Singapore currency because I'm more comfortable with it even though I know it is double the price there. No, I'm not rich, just a bit stupid to stick to comfortability. Even after 10 years living here.

70. When I first moved to Malaysia, I was shocked that all the students from different schools had the same uniform, all the 'lauks' here are waay to sweet for my liking, at the appaling behaviour of some of the Malays, at how much Malaysians consume chicken (and not like mutton) and of course, the service the government gives to the rakyat. After so much quick-witted efficacy we have over there, you can't blame me for the continued distrust I had towards the system here.

71. Oh, V this goes to you. I lost my Secondary 2 Spelling Bee competition to 'knead'. When they asked me to spell it I was like, "Need? Takkan so senang je?" And when I understood what they wanted I was so excited I spelt it 'K-N-E-E-D'. I gasped aloud on the mic and said 'SHH-!' -it.

72. I once knew how to do a split. No, I didn't take ballet. Now I'll just break my pelvic bone and probably not ever have sex for the rest of my life, which is something I don't think is worth risking for.

73. I get terrible cramps before my period. It comes with terrible tempers, emotions, and a mighty healthy appetite.

74. We named out first pet, 'SMREG', which is 'GERMS' spelled backwards after reading Judy Blume's 'Iggy's House'.

75. The wrestlers I used to support are: Chris Jericho (Because he was the most good-looking/hunky wrestler at that time), Stonecold Steve Austin (Cuz he's bald and mean and he wrestles with jeans, which I presume, is a mean feat) Mankind (Cuz he's 'kind', the nicest wrestler ever) and The Big Shot. I used to be shit-scared of The Undertaker but now that I'm older and knowledge has somehow seeped in me, I've taken note that he's a very strong man.
I now support Batista (no surprise there), HBK, Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio. I detest the Rated-R. Even when I know the quality of wrestling has be downgraded so pitifully, I still watch it.

76. I love home-made sambal tumis-pizza.

77. I prefer shopping for make-up to clothes.

78. I love cats. Kittens. We used to keep a total of 9 cats (outside the house). The longest cat with us was 'Timid', a black cat.

79. I had my nose pierced twice, even after I mentioned 'I'll never go through such pain again' after doing it the first time.

80. Just because I'm a Malay who speaks English, have red streaks on her hair, doesn't wear the tudung and has a pierced nose doesn't mean I'm a very open-minded person. OK?

81. I'm a sucker for spicy food and I do not like tauge.

82. I get attached very easily.

83. I don't get it when people say things like, "She pretty what...fair.. nice hair.. sharp nose..tall tall, thin thin." I'm sorry but I lack the 'depth' to judge people on how pretty they are just because they're 'fair'. I realise that I find it hard to agree with my friends when they point out something random like that because I don't know the subject they're talking about 'in person'. Or even if I do and she has a sucky attitude I go all "But I don't think she's pretty."

84. No, I don't judge people physically. I just can't even though I try. Unless they're some big hot- shot celebrity or something cuz that's what they're all about aren't they?

85. I am fickle enough to check-out the Cleo's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors every year.

86. I prefer noodles and spaghetti to rice.

87. I eat spaghetti with anything, thanks to my grandmother. Asam pedas, masak merah, sup kambing. Even with just kicap.

88. I love sticky, sweet stuff. Like Ang Ku Kueh.

89. I'm not a very strong swimmer.

90. I used to have lovely curls in my younger days. Now I have a head of straw.

91. I can read 'Timpetill' over and over again without getting tired of it.

92. I have this weird mental thing which makes me draw stars, or squares with my knee/foot/finger by moving it according to the shape I'm thinking about whenever I think about it.

93. We started living in the house right beside my grandparents. Then we moved to the Blok beside it. We then widen our horizons and decided to move to the country next to hers.

94. People think I'm 25. I'm not happy with that.

95. I have moved to a total of 6 different schools starting from Kindergarten to Secondary school.

96. My ex- high school Headmaster (A.R Peter) has decided to increase his level of informality towards me by adopting the cheek-to-cheek tradition whenever we meet up in functions.

97. After finishing high school, Rotarians request I call them by their first names, instead of the preferred 'Sir' I would have so gladly continually address them.

98. I don't know how to delegate jobs because people just don't listen to me. I think they don't take me seriously.

99. I used to watch that 'Shelby Woo' mystery..detective show on Disney Channel. And loved it.

100. I'm all out for keeping the integrity of my race alive by following traditions, for environmentalism, and of course, for my religion.

That's it then. Could've written another hundred but the Dr needs me. HEH.

Oh VeeElle, I absolutely LOVE eating mangoes off their seeds ;P

Ada itu budak ambil hati Hannah. Lah.

2008-05-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

Hit me.

Ok I know that no matter how caught up I am with work am I ever allowed to sneak away from my urban reponsibilities as a 21st century (so-called) blogger.

This apology goes specifically to you, V.

But I have been stranded away into the seemingly innocuous pathway to careerhood! *gasp!* I've been weeerrrrrking.....and weeerrrrrrrrking.... n werrrrrrrrrrrrrrking.
It's ok, but I seriously miss my friends. Seriously seriously. Oh I miss you too girl. Very much so.
I shall now proceed to what is it that has been taking my lovely company away from you Vanessa Pareira. I'm in the clinic supposedly keying some foreign workers medical results in the website (HAH! I should be the one taking the test too) but whatever. Takpelah, Dr. Siva pays me to sleep, he should be paying me to blog too.

TUt TUt. Ok I WAS. Now I'm back home. Kept this post in 'drafts' earlier cuz the internet connection there sucks. Must be all the radiation from the modern drugs. *shrugs*

Haha. It's as though I've been miraculously blessed with Hiro's abilities. You can so do that on the internet. *nods head*..so cool..so cool..
Anyway a buncha things happened; I graduated *woot!* and my results were pretty ok. No, I'm not trying to sound stuck-up smart but I did expect worse. Haha. So yay to that. Graduated back in my homeland and was there in less than 24 hours till I got home to get to work the next day. Hop on and off a bus between two countries and you'd feel like a zombie. No, I don't like rushing off to Johor to catch the 11 o'clock bus at home. I was literally stoning in work the next day. Eyes were glazed and I was breathing so deeply I could've slept while filling up the med bottles.
I don't like having not enough sleep. How DO people go to clubs and off to work the next day?
It's just that there's fieldwork and the clinic job and production job with dad's company it's slowly eating out of me. So bear with me V.

And there's this other thing. Which...... well.......

It involves a guy.

Oh ok. I like somebody.

Who's in a realtionship. Already.

*_*

We're childhood (secondary 2?) friends. He used to fancy me for two years. I would say he'd come near obsessive but then I'd have to explain what he did to make me label him as that and if I don't you're all gonna think I'm some perasan nut but yes, he was obsessed. Just believe me lah.
But he's got a gf now. A long-time gf. Who cheated on him. Twice.
Which makes me so frustrated cuz he's stupid enough to take her back. He's a pussy. I told him so.

I like him. But I don't want him.

Does that make sense? Yes. Because there are a few things about him that's a complete no-no for Hannah. I just care for him I suppose. A lot. I'm a fussy mummy.
Sigh. He sends me to work early in the morning and picks me up. And we'd go around eat somewhere before he picks up his nephew from school.
Oh yes, you've got that right. It's a two way thing. And he ain't cheating cuz his girl knows he's meeting up with me.

And nooo she doesn't like it.

But oh, I met up with her when he bought lunch for me. It was awkward but of course I tried to make things light. She was clinging on to her bag like anything. It's as if I were to rampas him away from her that second. "Eh sayang, I'm not that low lar."

He admitted he still fancies me, dear reader (or to be more specific, Vanessa). But he's got someone else. And he's the 'trust in 'loyalty/love' kinda guy.
I want him to grow up and see the world.
I feel frustrated for him. He's this 'anak manja' dude and I can't stand guys who aren't able to say 'No' to a girl when necessary. I can't take men just giving in to the women around them all the time. It spells out 'weak'. And that is precisely what he is.

But he's learning. Lately :)

Yeah, I got a bit occupied with this, girl, besides my work. Never thought I'd find myself in this sorta situation but then again never say never kan.

I seriously HATE that line. I wanna stamp stamp stamp on it. Argh.

I never want to be the 3rd person under any circumstance, dear V. So I backed out.
We're not as comfortable around each other anymore (even when texting) cuz of all that stupid limitations we must account for, between two people who's got to know their limits. *tsk* I'm stupid enough to impose those limits.
But I respect their relationship so...well. No thanks to dumb ol' me for losing a nice, good, decent boy.

Oh but Shermaine says give time in the first few months. Like..loosen stuff a bit. And I agree. But she says take it by the horns after a while. Like nudge in a bit. He's got to make a decision. It's not fair for his gf either if he secretly has feelings for someone else. Kan?

I'm a bit confused in this part of my life but otherwise all's good :)

Miss you darling. Loads more stories to update you with. Hugs.

P.S: WILL do you tag, insya-Allah. Lol.

Closure

2008-04-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have nothing particular to blog *stares* but I just felt like writing and anyway, it's only you that reads and bothers to comment in my near-pathethic blog V. You are officially the bestest blogger/facebook/ex-friendster companion ever.

Do, take a bow Dahleeng. *applauses*

The week has been exceptionally well for me. It feels like every single grudge, seemingly poisonous thoughts or whatever negativity that has been waning in my mind over the past few years even, has finally ... cabut. *smiles widely* It's like, 'WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH!' I can breath again.

I would like to thank the person that made this possible. "THANTHOO-THANTOO." *Bows deeply"

And that's just it, really. I'm all good.

Till next time.

Oh ok, I know it's just a picture. But still......

2008-04-13T05:01:00.000-07:00

Don't you just loooovveee this picture?

Pen took it :)

P.s: Ok you can still see my tummy but what the heck. I'm not one to hide my flaws and show only the 'what-I-reckon-is-pretty-in-my-eyes-and-yours' parts.

Beautiful Bastards

2008-04-11T04:21:00.001-07:00

Oh alrite. But it's not gonna be one sentence. U cakap sampai mcm tu I pun tak sampai hati nak type only one sentence.

=_="

Anyway bout the blog taggage, I have been thinking and thinking and honestly, I'm not fit to post such 'exquisite' a topic up. Beautiful men? Hun, there's lots but I've been void of the media for the last...two years I think (thoroughly ashamed to admit that though) but it's the growing up. No kidding, the euphoria of being so into something has faded abruptly it's like, whoa- the years of (not that long, really) experience has sadly made me a cynical and bitter old (wo)man.

I mean, I do get all jumpitty but it just doesn't last long anymore.

Anyway these ppl would've made my list (I'd put the respective pics up when I have the time):

1. Daniel Johns- He's HAWT. It's not his looks no, frankly, it's his music which makes up for all that skinny sticky blondeness he's got all over him.

2. Hugh Grant- All that romantic comedy has got me drooling over this sucker. He's your typical (but really not so cuz 'typical' ain't 'typical' anymore if you get my drift) Brit sucker-up; in a package complete with dreamy eyes, dashing great prince charmingy dark brown locks with the puuurfect British wit anyone could ever ask for. Oh how I love him. *sigh*

3. Alex Band (The Calling, remember?)- Go..........defenestrate yourself -as V might say- if you think he's not worth your Top Ten. I nearly forgot him but then remembered back in the days where I used to think he's one hot piece of ass. A good eye-candy. He was in my mind long enough to actually blurt out his name when someone inquires me regarding my taste in men. And that's reeeaally good in Hannah's personal radar. Ok he's blonde and I don't usually dig blondes but the exception comes with Alex Band and Daniel Johns. Oh and he's got a good deep voice which is to-meleleh-for. *faints* And with him comes Alex Tan (the Malaysian model) and Alex Yoong and all the clean Alex's in the world.

Milo Ventimiglia would've made my list but I think Heroes destroyed my initial liking for him. I dunno why but it all 'kedebang kedebush' when I see him acting all murky like that. It's like.....ugh. I beg you to be all arrogant, 'mulut senget-ed' and conceited (while hiding that certain a fondness you've had for that young Gilmore) and hot, of course.

I can't really remember anything else but Aragorn is phooooooooooooket. Viggo Mortensen is another thing altogether, I can't believe they're the same person. *_*

4. Johnny Depp- Oh HOW can I forget God's masterpiece? He. ISN'T. Real. Ooh I soo have this urge to smooch his face off right now. I have the tendency to do things on impulse. Thank God he's not here.

Oh how bout that model in the Diesel ad? 'Fuel for Life'. Don't you just luuuuuuuuurve the way his chest hair goes all nice and form a seemingly subtle perfect lil pathway down to.........*giggles*

Ok I feel all giddy already. Hooooorrrrrrny!!'s more like it.

Ah there's plenty of beautiful men but my mind's not working (tambah-ing the fact that I'm not in touch with the current occurence of what made life 'life' right now) but if you'd like to know what kinda guy I like just head off to V's blog (see I'm using your blog to finish up my dirty job again) and you'll see that my kinda man is close to Annmarie's kinda men (Mark Ronson *nods head fervently*) Ooh but with the exception of No.1 and that White guy (Naw, me no liking those two). I particularly like big, bald man so yeah, the likes of Vin Diesel and the Prison Break dudes and SHIT, BATISTA!! makes me list.

5- Batista- World's Hottest wrestler. The tattoos, the big buffed up bod, those cute little buns in cute little wrestling undies. The short-crop dark hair, the perfectly lined muscles on his thighs, those cute little waggy ears and tiny teensy line of stub on his chin. Ooh Batista......por favor?!Nehi? Pernah jadi World Heavyweight Champion la-GI yew *scoffs and puts nose up in the air* and still fighting for it....*sigh*...in vain. (DAMN the Rated-R!)

You know I'm running out of topic. I'm not supposed to be DOING a 'machiam-machiam yew' bout this. Especially when I've specifically mentioned I'm not good enough to be doing it according to my lack of knowledge on Hollywood, Bollywood, and Manlihood.

o__O

I think I'm a pragmatist.

Btw I'm reading Bel Canto and so far so goooood. It's so subtle and delicate and divine, I feel like I'm floating on white, puffy, clouds while reading it. Whereas 'Fire Me Up' is OhumGee the ULTIMATE sex novel. Wouldn't you just like reading a novel that involves incubi's (incubus- naked men appearing anywhere (naked!!) ready to have sex with you when u summon them or 'accidentally' summon them) exclaiming things like, "I can handle a threesome. I am a most virile and strenuous lover."

And "Why do you want me to wear that garment? Is it a game? Will it excite you if I do?"

"No darling, strip it all up. And don't leave anything behind."

Ok that came from me. :P

I never knew that 'incubus' had a real valid meaning to it. *wiggles eyebrows* And I thought all they do is play good alt-rock songs.

Oh and I MUST add that these incubi's are the most beautiful men ever-men that would make GQ cover models appear like a freaking sub-standard puppy tepi jahlan. But apparently you can't have too much sex with them or you'll be in constant craving for them sa-ha-JA and your lust for mortal men will dissipate (which is VERY dangerous if you'd want freakin Alex BAND in your bed) and you will leave with nothing/nada/nien cuz they'll take the souls outta you anyway.

So too much of something so good is never good. That's the moral of the story. *nods head*

And duh moral of this particular post is... well, I can never make up my mind once and for all with a string of beautiful (mortal-*hah!*) men stuck in me cuz it tends to just...play hide and seek especially when another gorgeous form of splendifourous beauty with an even more gitasmically out-of-this-world talent in a backpack appears. *Phew!*. I can be in absolute love with Jon Bon Jovi one day and possibly even Sean Ghazi when I hear him sing next. And then I look at 'Henry' dancing for Betty and he's a SAINT, God's best friend, whatever (SUH-hot to see a geek with muscles shake his booty). Paulie Bleeker is beautiful in his super-short blinding yellow-gold running shorts. Then Jamie Scott pulak is insanely adorable of the adorablest. Micah KILLS me with his curls (it's purely lust on this kid). I'm on a night train to Singapore with the Cleo's 50 Most Eligible Bachelor 2008 edition slapped on my thighs and I croon over (some) of them on the bed. They made my night. The girl's spoilt for choice. Don't blame me if I can't quite put a finger on men. I can't buat a pilihan yang tetap. I love em bastards too much to personally-hand-pick them up for personal flavah. We need to share such beauty with the world.

*tears*. Over God's greatest gift to womanhood.

Pen-ning down..shtuffs :)

2008-03-31T20:00:00.001-07:00

Ah well, I've been terribly busy so screw me.

Busy handling a bunch of Mat Salleh's from Duke (Uni!!). Busy working for Petronas. Busy giving talks.

Worst thing is, I'll be like, 'OOOH-kaay, I'll HAVE to post today's activities up my blog. It's gonna be sooooooooooo interesting.'

Yeah right.

No V, this isn't your taggage bloggedy post. This is just some random shyts to make up for not posting anything 'incredible' up the past few weeks.

So I just got back from Selai and it was far by the best program EVER.

It was based in my favourite place in the entire world.
Participants were of ppl my age.
They love the environment, all degree-holders and doing their masters in Environment Management :D (That means no brats, nor ppl trekking with freaking JEANS and cute little TOTES with spangly ballet shoes to match.)
So's all good. There's Dan (the Prof for Duke University in Environment Management) and his friend Stan (a Child Psychologist) and I was like, overWHELMED cuz it's my life's passion to do either one in LIFE (or both). Mother Nature and helping kids. Majorr indecisive moment. Had a talk with Stan and he's telling me all sorts of things, his views in helping children, bout changing 70 years of life down the road when we start early intervention. It's true. You get so much out of it. AND you work at your own pace.

And he told Dan bout me wanting to do both.

So Dan came by me after washing his dishes and languidly retorted,' Oh, Gary has my email so if you're interested to do Environment studies just email me. We've got this aid for Malaysians who're interesting in doing the course so yeah,'*does typing gesture* In his funny North Carolinian accent.

And I just stared at him open-mouthed and said, 'But I'm not Malaysian.'

'Oh' *Remorseful expression* 'Wait, but you ARE Malay right?'

'Yes I am.'

'Well that's the main requirement'*Smiles*

'Oh. *And my face just broke into a smile* ' I like your hat.'

Sooo.......................... I skipped my finals for this program and it was kinda worth it don't you think?

HAHAHAHA.

Haven't decided anything yet but we'll see.

Oh I taught the Mat Salleh's on how to play congkak and apparently they have THEIR own version called 'Manacala' and the African version called 'Bao' (which takes AGES to finish playing one round of game) but they all ended up playing Congkak anyway. *shrugs*

And I met this Taiwanese guy called Pen and he is just the weirdest, sweetest thing ever. He's the 'black sheep' in the group I suppose, most of the time by himself taking pictures. One might thing he's got some mental problem but........ I honestly have crushes on the weirdest ppl. HAHAH. Yes, I did have a mini tiny itsy bitsy teeny weeny crush on him. He's an individual. I was intrigued by the sincerity in everything he does; the way he talks, walks, everything. You notice this in him. He does things with deliberate care. He articulates real slow and clear. I ended up teaching him how to play Congkak and he...he makes you laugh.

*droopy smile on my face*

And when he heard bout what Dan told me he's like,' Oh then we can go to SCHOOL together!' with this apparent excitement on his face. Like a little kid.

I can't help laughing. He doesn't hide anything, he doesn't need to pretend to be cool or whatever. He is the jantung to my hati.

LOL. Ok I'll stop. Of all the Mat Salleh's that came, I HAD to fall for the Asian dude. Seriously.

(Actually there WAS did dude called Zan (Alxander, that's how his name was spelt in his passport. I had ALL their passports. Nyehehe) and he never had the guts to come talk to me even though he's around me all the time and we ended up talking on the last day but whatever, I had my eyes on Pen since he said 'Hi' or 'Excuse me' whenever he passes by) Oh yes, I had my eye on Zan for awhile but he's the typical guy you know, main-main mata but unsure. Sheesh.

Lovely curls though.

Didn't take pictures cuz Kakak brought the camera to Malacca but Pen's gonna Flickr some photos (yes, we're keeping in touch, DUH)

He's 21 but doesn't act like one. He can pass off as someone younger. He's an environmentalist. He's got a sister doing her Masters in those Chinese Soap Opera thingies. He's earnest, he's sensitive, he's a weird individual who stands on his own and walks around taking pictures, swinging himself on the swing beside the river caressing his own thoughts. He doesn't mind laughing at himself, he's just so................sweeeeeeeet. Terribly sweet. San would say he made me diabetic. HAHAHA.

He gave me a hug before they got on the train :)

Is too late toooh apologize?

2008-03-17T02:53:00.000-07:00

Ok that sounded skanky. Haha. PUH-LEEZE forgive me for being an insufferable piece of wide-eyed bitch! I never meant to NOT update my blog! It's the TIME dammit, the TIME!

(That apology was particularly meant for me and Vuhnessah, probably the only other person who actually bothered to check it whenever she goes online *wide-eyes brimming with grateful tears*)

Ok San I know you do too. And Shermaine. Both of you, sometimes. So half a cheek for you guys. *muah muah*

Ok this is gonna be another blog full of the fabulous nautical nonsence that I ALWAYS spill out(ok, I watch Spongebob, so what?) BUT has been unfortunately left rotted in my brain for...few weeks the least.

I LOVE DANIEL JOHNS!!! (And that's saying something cuz I'm not a band-y kinda person and when I say I LIKE that band, well...I LIKE that band!

Them, then. *cutiepie!!*

Ok I like:

Silverchair(!!)

A lil bit of Dissociatives

Muse

Peter Pan

Meet Uncle Hussain

The Fray

And maybe some others that I really can't recall cuz I'm more of a musical-cum-bigvoicesDOimpressme-cum raggae person. I really DO dance. Ziggy Marley, Bob Marley is just my weekly teh tarik kurang mains. Just *snaps fingers*. Jazz is good croak too. Cuz dad's from a Jazz band in his younger days. We've got a tenor sax, the old antique piano and flute at home. So the oldies are a close-to major part in my life. It's like 'Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors' now and 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes' then. Haha.

But because I have a sister who's a band-y kinda person, Silverchair has got stuck to me like, do bees like honey? YES! I know every single lyric, tune and moon in their Diorama album. They're Creatures I tell yuh, a bunch of musical geniuses that strips all reality away at that moment and bring you to the brink of orgasm-Silverchair style. It turns u OHN babeh. They're not real. Just like Johnny Depp.

Them, now.*I bet he's got more chest hair V. Lookat his FACIAL hair!*

'Breathe in the night..

Across the tired sunrise..

Born against the day..

brings young naivete.

A laptop souvenir

Is worth its weight in a silver and golden sun

You'll be home again..

And I'll be home again.

Mend in my sleep

I'm boxing underwater

Waddle on the lake

Waking on a summers day....Summer daaaay.....''

A little torn part from the every-loving 'Across The Night'

'So take another pill

And tell another lie

And lie amongst your lies

Like tuna in the brine.'

From 'Tuna in the Brine'.

Effing genius shtuff, no? They-are-just-INdescribable. I love them with all my heart. They don't use any of those knobs that adjust voices or tunes in their albums. It's all live. Best thing is, they use an orchestra back-up in their songs which is fantabulistic cuz one moment you're like..closing your eyes enjoying the unbelievable trance and suddenly! suddenly the music bumps to a whole different mumbo jumbo and and the violins go all crazy you can't be but impressed at the scores! Goosebump-fied. The good, scary, somewhat a bit demonical type.

Talented skinny buffs. ALL notes written by Daniel freaking Johns. Sexy nut.

The thing that keeps me so awe-struck at their music is the lyrics. Its utter nonsence when u think thrice even, but when you delve in deeper....rub that major brilliance they have on them to your whole body and you're out of this world. You know. You just oh-Know. FEEL it..

Another example ok.

'Too much of not enough.'

'Please die Ana..

For as long as you're here, we're not

You make the sounds of laughter

And sharper nails seems softer

And I need you now somehow

Open fire on my needs designed

on my knees for you

Open fire on my needs desires

What I need'

From 'Ana's Song', (Open Fire)

It's the words...plus his voice, ooh, his voice is like a drug. It is THE cocaine,weed, pot. It's gushblahbazeekos, it brings you to a whole new dimension and he croones it around and around and freaking manipulates your soul with it you'd feel it sinful to listen to his music (Bless him). Tambahkan his own original 3 piece band and the absolutely UH-MAzing orchestra touch at the background, you'd get a Sigur-Ros for Vanessa (when it's Silverchair for Hannah).

Everything about Silverchair (and Dissociatives) is original AND undescribable. Listen to their songs for the first time and you'd be surprised at the sudden 'jumping around' change of music in the SAME song and you'd wonder that the lyrics and everything have gone wayward but you listen...and listen...and listen....and you're in the moon.

'It was the moon that stole my slumber
Across the night...I hugged a man's arthritic's shoulder'

Across the Night, again.

'Got my fever down, then weighed it up, and know the
Sounds remaining won't strain all the silt from my eyes
Bleach the green from the pastures, feast on the grey
Of the night, straight from the vines refusal to shine

You're my favourite thing, the one that I love
The one so I'd die for your love- (This part KILLS me)

Blind the deafened moon, stimulate the tombs of angels
I'll open my heart won't fall apart, don't fall apart
You're my favourite thing, and I feel like letting go'

You're My Favourite Thing.

I've got nothing else to say. You can listen to this shyt in your sleep and it'll drift you off the shirtless Daniels Land. Listen to it in the train and you hum and be the irritant of the mob. Miss your stop. Lend your ears to him in the forest and you go swishing in the flow of the river. You're out of your body. You're out of control. But yet you AREN'T.

But you know, That's just it lar kan. I haven't got their new album cuz Mr. Johns moved Dissociatives (a much more intense Silverchair with whacked-out lyrics) and I didn't hear anything bout them till another Silverchair fan came up to me and said some blah blah blah and I found out they're back together making more magic with those brains of theirs.

I didn't get their 'Mind Reader' album. Sigh sigh. Daniel Johns has short hair now. He's got such a maniacal aura. I hate Natalie.

Oh I miss Silverchair.

'Ugh'

2008-03-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

My brain feels like slurpee. Lime flavoured slurpee.
My eyes droop its like I've got red fugging bricks pounding directly on my eyes.
My throat feels like........mouldy seventh adventist bread. Like frigging roof tiles.
My breasts walloped and it HURTS. Its like carrying a pound of water.
My butts DROOPING it's like fucking PAU'S instead of kuih Tambuns.
My stomach is slowly....slowleeee but surely (I'm sure).....allowing me to experience senapang gajahs battle-ons in it.
Menapausal.
PMS-ing. I mean.

Even if its just Tanjung Malim it's Perak. And going back n forth everyday is just so stomach-sucking- nauseatingly exhausting.

I'd have to go through it again next week.

Oh I need a hug.

:(

People are getting INCREASINGLY annoying on the street. I tend to just wave it off you know. You get nutties who'd deliberately annoy your socks off cuz you fugging know it's just another dumbass but its ALL WRONG when they annoy at the most INSENSITIVE hour of the bloody day!

"Everyone's looking at you."

WHAT DAH FUUUG.
Stupid stupid Arab tua.
Oh my GOOODDD I felt like slapping his wrinkled bushy-eyebrowed skunky haired face.
And his friend who LAUGHED.

One kick from my heels and you'll never see the birds shit on you again.

Oh how I hate men.

(Oh, NO one was looking at me btw, except those two perverts who'd been following me from the monorail to I can't even remember where.)

I'm a grumpy Grawpy who reads shitty Desmond Bagley novels.
It's not even good I tell you.

I'm getting to worked up with the teeniest things.

The sun's too hot, my heels suddenly seems too high, there's too much air-cond everywhere, I hate men, John Legend and Incubus's coming, I detest computers, my bed's always messed up, I wake up at four every fudging day and won't be able to sleep till 6 which make me ANGRIER at myself cuz I would have to bangun in precisely 15 mins time.

I think I'll take my tonic tomorrow.
Starbucks. The nice fellow who works there (He seems like the only decent person with testosterons now). He makes me laugh. That chocolate fudge ice-cream from Baskins. And a nice, sweet, romantic movie that makes me appear like a whorey-romantic-wally prissy girl.
I am precisely that.

Maaaaybeee 27 Dresses. I haven't watched that.

It's the travelling too I suppose, it's affecting me like hell. All hell break loose.
Oh this is too random I hate it already.

OUT.
OUT!
OUT!!

I Have A Black Nose.

2008-02-19T19:45:00.000-08:00

Ah. Macam sudah lama yerr.
But yes, I do have my reasons.
13th Feb
It's been a hectic week for me, starting from Val's day.
Ooooh..sweet sweet rubbishy Valentines Day.
Helped out my neighbour sell roses (pink and red ones) on the eve. The flowers were lovely. And it was the only other day that I was walking around KL and Klang with a bunch of flowers. One was my birthday last year (Yes, I am really awfully disgustingly that nice). It felt good though. Hahaha. Some of my friends were lovely enough to buy it from me. Shermaine, Yean, Irwin, Art, Harpreet, even my hairdresser, Alvin. And I went around BBK walk. It's really so nice to witness and feel the love around. Contented to be the mere bystander and hear people express their love in front of a stranger. Found myself saying 'awww...' over and over again. It's like feeling the love but not being in it.
There was this stranger, a common chinese contracter in his work-clothes having his break in Sri Madhura. You know the chinchai skinny kinda person with ruffled hair and boots. He saw us (me and my sister) and beckoned us to come to him. He asked,"What is the difference between a pink and red rose?"
"Pink's sorta like, puppy love...the start of a relationship kinda love. Red's the true true love wan."
"Oh, then mine is the true love. My wife ah..she's been loving me all this while...she cook and clean for me...always waiting for me when I come home....she never left my side. Give me the red one." He spoke with a sincere demeanour and with such love in his eyes its....swwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeet.
And my sister and I would've just gave him the rose for free if it wasn't for my auntie (neighbour) standing nearby. Sigh. We were oggling at his open-ness to us it's crazy. Lol.
Ah, I had fun. Went mamak with Preet Preet (Harpreet) and San that night.
14th Feb
Spent the day with San just talking and eating and eating and eating in Jusco.
15th, 16th, 17th Feb
Went to KKB (Kuala Kubu Bharu) to work. Gary called the week before and I nearly forgot all bout it. Hehe. It came to be rushing that morning itself to finish my take-home test and setting off to KKB via train. It was a good ride...considering the fact that I slept most of the time. My butt's never been numb for sitting in those kerusi keras for so long.
Handled the GIS (Garden International) students, again. Dang. No wonder I didn't bring my cam. Last I handled them was in Gombak and I swear they were the most annoying, pampered students of all time (and I definitely do not want any memory of those). If it's one thing I can't stand is bratty, unreliable, pampered, city-kids. But they batch that arrived this time were pretty ok. Not that bratty though I did recognise one or two I've worked with earlier.
It was real camping this time, tents and all. The students were involved in this Duke of Edinbourgh International Award thing and they were supposed to..live on their own or something. You know, cook, set up tents, everything away from modernisation. Fair enough. The hard part was the walking. Yes, even for me. Lol. What dyu expect wei, we walked under the heat (me, in a pair of flip flops since I'm used to wearing em in the forest. Silly me though). Walked up this massive mountain on tar road which is horrible. The heat gets in your head. We passed a dam and at starting point it was above us. We came to a point of passing the Asli's kampung and the road ahead was laterite all the way. We walked up..and up and up a huge winding road it felt like walking up Genting or something but it couldn't have been that bad but it sure felt like it, it's so steep; and the next thing you know, were were ABOVE that freaking dam. So you could imagine how high it was. I was still alright, never mind the constant rubbing against the rubber of my slipper. From the ladang kelapa sawit..we passed the Asli's home...and finally ahead nearer to the forest. We couldn't even see the dam anymore, we were waaaay high up.
We reached a stream and oh heavens, I dived into it.
With my phone in the pocket. Its the heat I tell yuh, the heat.
Continued to a gimongous red earth road. Was ok..had a good time, pretty difficult cuz at some parts they were rough and dry and I ended up sliding down even when I was going up. (HAHA)But I did sink thigh deep at one point of a time. You'd never be able to know whether it's sinkable or hard earth. This girl went in first and I crossed over to pull her out but I got in myself instead. HAHA. Loved it. It was hard pulling my leg out but I managed. My slipper disappeared inside but I got my hand stuck inside so I pulled it out. And it broke. Thank God for Noli (one of the asli's I'm working with). He put in back into place.
And he had to put in back in place 3 more times after that. Remind me to get a really good slipper for trekking.
We started at 9 and reached around the corner at 5.30. We haven't even walked back to campsite which was another 3km. Joke was Gary asked me to take my time handling the kids as we had till freaking 5. He just didn't know how far the walk was. More than 15 KM, definitely.

Oh and did I mention that I broke a nail? No, I BROKE a nail. Not the white part. The freaking pink part. My toenail. Sigh. I've never bleeded while trekking, it's embarassing. But funny. I shall never tell you how I got that broken nail. Implicit Content.

Oh alright, I fell on my butt downhill (again) and it bumped into this huge boulder rock. I was limping I tell you, freaking LIMPING.
Gary specifically requested me to rest the next day (bwahahah. I deserved it). Cleaned up the campsite, rolling up tents. Then went trekking in the jungle for awhile alone while he went on ahead looking for the kids. It's one of those clarity moments ya'know *nods head knowingly*
Sempat mandi sungai again for awhile before the last minutes of heading back to Klang.
It's was a goooood camp overall despite the more than average amount of accidents I've received this time. There were more cuts and scratches and on my legs and you would've probably realize by now that I'm not your average 'OH MY GOD I have a scar!' girl cuz my scars are gazzilionfied. You can't be too picky when you're working with leeches and nettles. Participants were quite nice and worked with Raman and Noli (two different asli's from different kampungs) which were hilarious in a merepek kinda way. And who would've thought the quiet, sweet, cheeky-looking Noli eloped with the Headman's daughter to KL a few years ago. LOL. Looks can be deceiving and they never cease to constantly surprise you. He's doing well in his canopy business now; he's the dude that does most of the canopy-work building in M'sia. And Raman's the only dude in the country that plays a nose-flute. *_*

Oh, and I'm not the type of person to be bothered with sunscreen before going out in the sun or anything. It's never been an issue for me to be darker than my usual red-self.

It's just that..............I have a black nose now. And my forehead is peeling. And my skin always been 'marble-caked' everytime I come back from a job but this time its....'gelap/terang' or even 'siang/malam'. That's what Noli said.

Maybe I SHOULD start using sunscreen. HM.

18th,19th Feb
Visited NASOM (National Autistic Society of Malaysia) in T.Pulai. The kids were spectacularly adorable and I love spending every moment with them. Lovable lovable and I couldn't help getting attached to this lil chinese Chibi Maruko-fied girl who sticks to me like super-elephant-glue and this deadly handsome boy of 7 named Haizam. He loves to be cuddled and kissed and I asked his teacher whether he's always like this. 'Not to us'. Ah...lucky me I suppose.....

Anyway that's just it. No flowery stuff, I'm still in the shambookles period of relaxing my pulled-up muscle I can't even go to gym. So I'm succumbing Harry Potter. I think Fred is bizzare; I wanna marry him.

ZE Long Awaited HEROES FANDOM! Shrieks!

2008-02-03T02:11:00.000-08:00

Rachel Yamagataing.
OK heeeere comes the fandom blog!

HEROES. Duh
No actually I was thinking of Cinta you know, or even Fame.
Cinta's awesome awesome awesome whereas Fame's fantabulistic.
But Heroes pun manyak bagus jugak and Barnessah wants to see my fandomized version of it. So here it goes. My tak berapa sangatlah tapi memadai opinion on, HEROES.

So I'm supposed to follow ur statements and answer it right?
Yeah ok.

1. The first charater I fell in love with.
Without a doubt Peter Petrelli. Nyehehe. He's hot hot hot and sweet sweet sweet. I'd KILL for a guy like that. I mean how many men can you get (in Klang...-or Malaysia) that's genuinely caring by nature and selfless with good looks to boot? He CARES too much despite his weird hairdo. (I personally prefer it in the Second Season. Or even like the one in Gilmore Girls. WHoa. That was lurve at first sign maaan). His determination to 'save the cheerleader, save the world' (yeah!) is honestly overwhelming, I do SO wish I was Claire Bennet then. I still wish I am now since they're allegedly going out together. *hmph* He looks hot topless and I tend to just melt whenever he smiles his crooked smile. I go totally gaga and you'd probably catch me salivating every time he does it. Breathless. HAHAHA. Like VeeElle cakap, it's impossible to like him despite his lil boy moments of exclamations. He's tender....selfless... sweet. I wanna keep him. I have this thing for over-sensitive men. Too cute.
Ok wait that's not fair. I just read what I wrote again and everything I wrote bout Peter Petrelli is based on looks. Almost.

Oh I looooove Micah btw. He's the hottest thing on television since Brandon Fehr and I wanna marry him but according to V it'll take me 6 more years to shag him and yeah, I can't wait that long.
Oooooh those currrlllsss.....skin...Orgasmic-ingfied.

Let's see. What's no.2.

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do.
Matt Parkman.
I really like him.
Initially he gives us this impression of a weak modern day guy that isn't able to handle/sort out his personal AND work life in a dignified, professional manner. A sort-of loser that's trying too hard in everything but constantly failing cuz it appears that luck isn't on his side or something. Like a loser (lar). But when come to think of it, he's an awesome dude. He freaking cares for his marriage, his wife (that bitch-she makes me dislike women so much). An ambitious cop, which is 'Aww-fying' cuz you know, you don't get ppl who'd want to 'save the day' . 'I'm just trying to do my job' in a cop-fying kinda way AND bother about his lousy two-timing wife at the same time. Parkman tries really hard to do his best in whatever he does and he's really likable, truly sincere to fight for rights and search the truth behind his ability. The usual modern day crap is to move on with life cuz it's full of shit but nooo, Mr Parkman doesn't see it that way and that's what's so impressive about him. Sungguh baik hati. He's different in a classic-nice kinda way, he doesn't even need to try because he's there already.
Go PARKMAN!
"Oooh, he can be pretty cute too." ;p

3. The character everyone else loves that I don't.
I doooo nooottt like Simone Deveaux. But she's just a tepi character so Mohinder's gonna win over this one.
Surprise surprise, me no no like Missterr Mohinderr Suresh at all. He appears to be pushy, pathetic, not man enough and at times stupid. And what's with the slight Brit accent huh? I though he was brought up in Illinois or something.
Confused person he is, I don't like the fact that he is such a wimp in certain situations. Ridiculing his father, terasa-ing about Shanti, flying back all the way to India and when finally seeing some sense in his father's work, continues it. Decision making very the teruk hor. There were too many pauses and uncertainties on his part and it got me all worked up. Beside the rest of the casts he looks like...Barbie.
And the part where he got Sylar captive. I was snorting at his absurd stupidity all the way. Professor tu memanglah professor, but he does NOT know how strong Sylar's abilities are and taking chances by injecting some...thingy so his brain doesn't work. Pfft.
But somehow Mohinder's charactar is of vital importance to Heroes huh. I just wished they had made him quicker, wittier, funnier....or at least more dashing or something. *shrugs*

4. The character I love that everyone else hates.
Adrian Pasdar. Nathan Petrelli. The 'mean' one between the Petrelli brothers. Full of lets-step-out-the-door-you-doNOT-taint-my-reputation-with-your-whiny-act or so-we-can-freakin-fly-lets-just-shut-up-about-it shit happens. Actually...I like his jaw. Muahahahah. I do. And his eyes. Naaaytthan Petrelli, truly ambitious, the 'Daddy loves me more than you' son. He's been up there for a long time and I'm sure his dazzling smile doesn't help at all. Ok seriously. The fact that he cares about his brother so much behind that determination to win the election facade is just too sweet. THE reason why I find him so appealing. It blew me away. It's like he loves him but he can't show it cuz his career's at the brink of falling apart if ppl know Peter's cerrraazy. All that brotherly love drives me nuts. The part where Peter 'died' and the way Nathan was sobbing all over him, kissing his forehead, "He's not supposed to die like this, he's too young" or something like that. Sigh. Tugs me heart.
Having said that, he does appear to be a bastard at hiding his wife for so long. All those acting out moments in front of the camera. But then again that's politics eh. You gotta do watchu gotta do for America.

5. The character I would shag anytime.

I'll take Micah but I'd wait too long and I have no patience when it comes to any form of sexual activity. LOL.

So well...I'll take his father. Nyehehehe. D.L Hawkins.

Effing hot. MY kinda man. He fills up my 3B's- Big, Bald and excessively Beautiful. Initially protrayed as some psychopathic dude, going around killing people but when I saw him it's like- THIS dude? No kidding. I'll let him on my bed anytime. -'KILL ME BABEH! KILL ME! Rowr!'

If I can't get my hands on him either I'll kick Simone's ass away for playing with Isaac's already-tardy-limp feelings and shag him in front of her.

6. The character I'd want to be like.

Hiro's ability is giawesome. Don't any one of us want to undo a mistake? Time travelling? Teleportation? Backpacking around the world- in 8 minutes! Instead of your usual 80 days. Haha. Joke.

Wouldn't that be fantastic though.

Charlie's ability on the other hand would be extremely useful looking at my current position as a student right now... Habeh, SAPU sume 'A' in PTS, UPSR, PMR, SPM, DIPLOMA, DEGREE, MASTER, dan PhD.

Habeh citer.

7. The character I'd slap.

Firstly, Claire Bennet for her gorgeous hair (I'd like to think the slap counts for going out with Milo too).

Secondly Nathan for being a bastardy human being all for his career and future, you stingy, selfish, handsome nut.

Angela Petrelli for being an evil menyampah-fied BITCH.

Eh you're right. V. The entirely good-looking Petrellis. HAH.

Eh I would never slap Peter. If he says 'I'm sorry' with that crooked smile I'll go like, 'You're forgiven for all your stupidity on your desire to save the already fucked-up people darling. Go save them.' *Hugs*

8. A pairing that I love.

Oh none. Hiro and Charlie's cute but it ended waay to soon for me to start going all mushy over them. I do like the James Kyson Lee and Masi Oka pair though, so maybe them. The reason we laugh (when we do) in the series is probably almost 100% because of their idiosyncratic and amatueristic ideas to save the world.

9. A pairing that I despise(d)

With you now V. Simone *splutters* and Peter. I detest her from the every fibre of my being. From my very existence in this world. I will not go on any further and waste my time on this woman. For further details on how I feel towards this pair, proceed to Vanessa's blog and read her no. 9 on the fandom post.

10. Favourite character(s)

Mr. Muggles. (HAHA!) Kidding ppl, kidding.

Hiro Nakamura.

Peter Petrelli.

Sylar.

One uh-DORABLE whacked up Jap and Ze Hero of Heroes. And THE orang jahat.

Apparently, obviously, I like the characters that CARE. Hiro's so semangat-ed and Peter's a saint. (This is where we split in pemilihan wataks V. Yew adore liars and mentally-screwed up people. I'm positively in love with people who genuinely want to save the world. HAHA.)

Hiro Nakamura, is lovable. I do not know anyone who'd hate him, dislike him or negative him anything. Too cute a character. His straight, small teeth, the shape of his face, his haircut. His positive attitude is ultimately infectious cuz whenever you watch him, you'll be like, 'Yeah Hiro, that's the way, you're soooo gonna put things right when you find that sword' alongside his tagging ally who's got his mind on Niki Sander's body all the way. Lol. His aim to 'Save the world' is two notches higher compared to the rest of the 'heroes' besides Peter, of course. Naive but his scrunched up forehead (which, I honestly do not want to see cut off *shudder*) saved the day! Temporarily. But still.

Do good to the world dude.

And Peter, undoubtly oh-s0-spank my ass Peter. NEED I say more ladies?

And Sylar. HEROES is ZERO, NOTHING, NADA, nien, Ilek, Tadak Hapak.......................................................................................................................................without his eyebrows.

11. What are your favourite things about your fandom?

Good characters, and yes, the plot is out of this world. How uhriginal can you get, a bunch of Heroes going around in this world, the real thing. Superman DOES exist; IN a hotter and brand-new form! Catwoman's hot and leads a double life with her alter-ego. Batman reads minds! Bionic woman is simply effectively immortal and Robin talks to machines. Amacham tak original ka? Justice League:21st century version in real life.

Ok no, truly. I don't watch much tv and I got hooked on Heroes when my sister brought back a burned cd her friend gave her. And I watched it two nights in a row, the whole of season one. It IS pretty interesting, that's why I dare claim I'm a 'Heroes' addict and would love to watch the next season. I usually don't have the time nor patience to follow series or anything but Heroes has at some point got me hooked on to knowing what comes next.

Oh, Milo's acting whaaat.

P.s: I'd try NOT to miss Gilmore Girls back then when he was acting in there. It's all the Milo factor.

In a way, I doubt I'll watch it if Milo wasn't it in. So yeah, I guess it's more of the character factor that triggered me to actually want to watch the show at the beginning. But the plot, of course, was good enough that I followed it THOROUGHLY, truly.

12. What are you least favourite things about your fandom.

The potholes. Plenty of things I don't understand but I hope soon to be uncovered in seasons to come. BAH admit it V, you're confused too!

Ali Larter's ability. An alter-ego? Would Sylar want that if it not for her impending strength? But he doesn't need that, he tumbles and throws people with the flick of his finger. Or maybe once he gets it we'll be able to see the good side of him. Haaaaah...

And HOW in the world does Sylar get the abilities from? Brain yeah, then what? Blend into a brainshake?

The slight downside of things for me was when I found out that there were a LOT more people out there with these fascinating abilities that somehow made it not-so-fascinating anymore. It's like a turn off. ''Well...they're not so special anymore." I mean, how many abilities can you come up with? It'll somehow eventually seem ridiculous at some point you know. What next, the ability to see with your eyes closed?

So yeah, it must be the cast/characters then. Each and everyone of the characters played their role damn well. Whoever that made up the characters in this story is a genius in my eyes, fits in the storyline, gains the trust of the audiences to want to keep watching the show. For people like me.

13. What is your deep, dark fandom secret?

Well. I want Claire Bennet's hair.

And I want sex with Micah.

When he's legal that is.

Lately..

2008-01-30T01:26:00.000-08:00

It's so weird how Bette Midler can have such a powerful voice while singing but a total chipmunky kinda voice when talking.

Well then. It's been a hectic week. Convent's sports day was yesterday and everyone was like, "Wah, so semangat wan-2 years ago seniors." Alah kalau I tak ajar cheerleading taklah tunjuk batang hidung I kat stadium tu.

Lol.

Had dinner with San in Nando's then.

And the night before...went to Bukit Tinggi with San again for last min cheerleading practise. Then mamak before sending her orf home.

And before that. Well. Nightly cheerleading practises.

My Girls. Some of them.

Then pizza with Waipz and her bro.

I'm listening to Mariah's "Thank God I Found You". Classic man. She's got a very the good voice.

Oh yeah it was Sammie's brithday last week in this Jap restaurant and I bumped in this bunch on ppl I haven't seen for 6 frickin years! Like Mona! And my Ex-maths partner-Keangston. He loves doing that dong dong face. Of course, with the balloons.

I miss masa dulu2.

I really do.

Times where kakak and I will be berdueting songs together. When we make up our own fashion show for nenek or Cik Sah cuz we absolutely luuurve dressing up. Putting up a show for our parents. Like when it's papa's birthday or something the four of us would sing a single from The Corrs or something since then it was us 3 sisters and one bro kan. Just like The Corrs. Sigh.

Skarang dah besar and when you start knowing everything its like not so nice anymore.

It's such an easy life to be young and naive and your world revolves around Mat Yoyo, Barney and Sesame St. When you're constantly in awe at that water bottle that has a 'popping cap' when you push a button behind. Or the Baby-G watches that goes bling-ling, the mountain bikes. When Aishah was still popular..the Scorpions and the songs practically meleleh-ing with jiwangness that you'd cringe and scream for nenek to off the radio.

The HARI RAYA songs don't change though :) Balik Sgp during Raya je it's like the same as ten years ago. We'd still rebus our ketupat and lepat(s) bawah blok.

The only thing different thing is that we'd masak in a smaller kawah cuz semua dah besar kan dah tak makan banyak lah. It's either that or the kawahs look a whole lot bigger back then.

We'd use the cadars and blankets and build a 'castle' or 'fort' with the dining chairs and table. :) So syiok. Playground in Pasir Ris. You know I should really dig up some old pictures and post it up here. Reminisce itu zaman budak2 Ribena.

I had a good childhood. Quite, quite good.

Sometimes knowing less brings more justice to you kan. Haha. Buat bodoh je lah.
Then everything also simpler.

Ooh, I bumped into Harpreet yesterday. Yesh, itu Harpreet tuition dulu! It was *GASP!Gasp!* moment for me cuz I couldn't recognise him. Of all the places in front of the post office. He was staring with his mulut ternganga and I just thought he was some loony bin when he followed us- And he just exclaimed, "Are you Hannah?"

And I was just, "Yeah, who are YOU?"

"You cannot recognise me ah?"

*silence*. I was scrutinizing his face. BLue contact lenses?! And that's where I saw it. The mulut ternganga part. LOL.

"OMG HARPREET!"

Well of COURSE I couldn't recognise him. He took off his turban and cut his hair! Man he looked HOT. Despite his freaky blue contacts which I couldn't get over. Sheesh.

Apparently when we were messaging that night he reminded me that his eyes are naturally that colour. And I'm like, Oh yeah. It was this lovely greenish brownish in the room but I guess when it got under the sun it's like blue. And San was like, NOW he's hot!

HUAhuahua. I'm meeting up with him this Sunday. Apparently he's got loadsa chicks after him. HAHAH. And I'm like yeah, dulu all tak pandang now only Mr. Hot Stuff. But he's still as blur case as ever and the mulut ternganga effect just enhances it better :P

Whee.. Janice if you're reading this then I'll say hi to him for you!

Oh and Aleesha. Your neighbour's hotter than the OTHER neighbour ;)

OI Barnessah-Itu fandom mau tunggu ah. I'm thinking Heroes. "BAHAHAHAH! Plagiarism!"

:) I Did It.

2008-01-21T20:17:00.001-08:00

Something just hit me. I'm supposed to be sweeping the floor but instead I head towards the computer and here I am now. Blogging.

With the penyapu leaning on my thigh.

Dong dong.

You know what? Every step you take in life is history. The present is the past. And every single thing that you do is an experience. Every single bloody thing that you do is an opportunity to mold you into a wiser person; there's a glitch there however. It depends on how you look at it. On how you use that past experience of yours.

Oh shoot hang on. The phone's ringing.

Ah back. It's Koul. He's back from Sudan, starting his semester in UTP. My eardrums are still vibrating from listening to his voice. Man, he talks LOUD. And the phone was 5 inches away from my ear.

Lol ok, back to where we were. Yes let's see...let's see...

Ah yes. The past. It molds it's present. I don't know bout you guys but regardless of however terrible your past is, there's always a story behind it, a reason. It always happens for a reason. Sometimes you'd think when it goes so bad you can't take it anymore, ok this is so cliche and I'm gonna sound so Simple Plan-ish, "How could this happen to me?"

No, this isn't to all the weak people in the world. I dont believe in weak people, I believe everyone is strong somewhere in their heart. You're strong enough to survive in this world. You're only weak if you commit suicide. Which is, I hope, Never an option for you. You would just be awarded with another label. 'Stupid'. Hm. Not a good last impression.

This is just to everyone.

I was talking to 'this person that person' the other day about... my past (no, I am NOT embarassed to admit I was a weak, oppressed, depressed...person *splutters* back then) and damn he's right. It's up to me to decide whether it's the thrust of a blade or a mosquitoe bite.

But who are we to control that much of our feelings? One can only do so much to be strong, to put up that facade. We're only human kan.

At the end of the day, the worst beating I've got was from myself. Not from Him, or Her, or Them. My thoughts.

I know you're all in this 'it's easier said than done' mode. Kan? kan? kan? :)

I hate it when ppl say this but 'been there, done that' babeh. Hmm. Do I dare terminate my sense of pride and forsake embarassment, strip myself from that well-known ego Hannah has?

Yes.

Because I'm survivor in life. I'm 19 (almost) but I've done it and so can you.

I'm crippled in many ways (aren't we all?). My overzealousness IS a part of me yet somehow, I really don't know how, it is a way for me to cover up my 'crippled-ness'. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been a fake to you all these years, I'm really comfortable being the loud, boisterous drama queen I am, it is still me. It's just those darn complex psychology shits that's too much for us to capture in a tweeny mind, that's how I can't comprehend how it works. Besides being short-sighted (ahem), I have a weak heart.

Weak heart meaning:
My faith in God wasn't that strong until a few years ago.
I would care too much.
Trust too much.
Bother too much.
Love too much.
Believe too much.
And all that too much.

Nananana, not that the world is a lean, mean, gyrating machine. Even though it does feel like it sometimes but WHATever it is, it's not. There's hope however much you want to deny that.

I've been led, once upon a time, to the chronicles of 'love'. Oooooh yeah, lyuuurve ppl, did that capture your attention? I have cared for someone so so very the much I'd forsake everything to just put things right if anything were to go wrong. No, well actually it's not THAT bad but nearly, yes. I'd have to thank Mr Ego-fied for saving my ha-ass off from the clutches of oh-so-terrible testosteroned-packed X'ed DNA's.

No actually they're not bad. That moment was just the wrong place and time sorta thingy. Form 4. And I'd want to retain our friendship but unfortunately for me, I've been too much of a bitch back then. I still care for him though, I always will. A relationship is a serious thing, yes. You've cared, nurtured, loved and adored that man and vice-versa. You've shared feelings, whispered, not sweet nothings,mind you, but at that moment itself it felt like, 'whoa, top of the world' right? It's been there, that attachment, care. To stop it completely would be inadvertently unrealistic unless something really terribly unforgivable happened or it's just that you're still holding grudges. Or you're heartless. Let go. I have. I'm still talking to all of my ex's but one. He has yet to forgive me/let go. Sigh sigh. It was my fault, the whole damn thing. I'm admitting it.

But yes, been there done that kan.

Been there done that no.2.

I've faced hardships. I don't come from a filthy rich family but we were 'down-trodden' for awhile. It started out okay when we first moved here. Dad had a business, not going all that smoothly but we survived. Then September 11 'kedebang kedebush' and the business pun 'kedebang kedebush-lah'. Oh, we were pretty hard off. Not extremely baaad but..quite, quite *nods head*. No telephone for 6 months. I didn't have a mobile back then. Went to a private school in KL to make things worse (obviously we registered when thing were pretty ok). The family's business went bankrupt. Mom was teaching tuitions, flexible hours. Moved the business to Johor but we got cheated. (Those nasty nasty asses I tell you). The MPV kena tarik, we're left with the Wira. It was four of us sibs back then, Iman still up there. We scraped through but it was hard. It was hard for me and my elder sister as we were in our adolescent/teen period and hormone imbalances did NOT make anything better. We had expectations, schooling in KL was like, ugh for us among all those rich rich kids. Who's smart idea ah to put us in a praaayvate school?! (We moved to BK then Convent after that). So NO ppl, us being Singaporeans did not make our lives in Malaysia here better. In fact, it's harder cuz we're not qualified for loans or anything of that sort. I'm scraping that mentality off your heads.

That period went on for bout...3-4 years more or less. Whoa. That's long.

We're good now, alhamdullilah. We have Iman, and she's a real darling. She Did bring 'berkat' to our family. She's our happiness when we've got nothing to look forward to, when it feels like we're at the end of the road. Trust me, Pain is good. All those years putting up a face in school, being the 'new girl' twice, having to act like as if everything's alright in front of your peers is NOT easy. I get attached easily so you know, it's hard leaving old friends behind. I was a complete pessimist, THE pessimist if you must. It sucks because whenever I mention 'Singaporean' they all go 'Waaaaa.....' and I'm getting really good at having to surpress myself from rolling my eyes so often.

Haha. But I survived-we survived-and I'm proud of us. Papa has a new business for bout 2? years now and even I know how to work the stuff! :) Best part is, it's home-based and he's home all the time. We're a proper family now. He doesn't come back late anymore. He gets enough sleep. He actually listens to us when we tell him how school went instead of constantly worrying. Mama's more lovable to Papa! :D Faith, clarity, patience does preceed success. Just never lose hope in Him up there. He loves to test us.

Omg chope. I'm eating this honestly God-forbidding sinfully out-of-this world bun n it's soooooo good. Jap jap, I makan jap eh.

Ok anyway. Third and last... not exactly 'been there done that' thing but...it's an extremely, extremely bad experience..........*deep breaths Hannah*

I've been sexually harassed.

It didn't hurt that much anymore saying that now.

I was tortured with the feeling for a few months. Yep, not the memory. The damn feeling of it would come back, it's like happening there and then itself, how could I not go crazy? I had dreams that would led me to what would've happened if 'he' had more time. I'd cry in my sleep.. wake up clutching anything around me. My heart would jolt and crumble at the sight of a Savvy car. Even a person that looks like him can make me go nuts. Midnight calls to San, crying over the phone. The vision of it would creep up worse than that Ju-On boy. It was... there's no particular word to describe how I felt. At any time of the day, whether I'm sitting in the train or driving to Jusco, the feeling and the thought of it would come and I'd just stop and tear. It's not like it's controllable, I don't WANT it but there you go.

How, I thought, would I ever get through THIS?
It just seems so virtually impossible to me. It haunts you, this feeling. Your stomach sucks in all the breath and you gasp and gasp and your tears do but overflow.

It was far by the worst thing that happened to me.

I keep thinking that it may be karma you know, for all the bad things I've done before this but San said nooo. I would never know though; Allah controls everything. I've questioned His existence before in my most beguiling moments. I felt hopeless, I was weak. That's what weak ppl do. They give up on life and start acting. Actors, all of 'em.

You'd wonder how I could type this so freely for all to see. Its that I've let go, people. And I want to show you that there's still hope admist all the fucked-up situation surrounding us, or happening to us. Some bastard's not gonna stop me from living. It's time. I've broken down, crumbled to the ground, I've hurt enough. I've done all that crying, no more now. That was last year. I took up kickboxing to regain my nonexistent confidence (haha).

I know some people who would rather 'live in a lie with a happy outcome' rather than 'an honest life with an awful ending' (something like that lah). Well then these people are merely short-sighted. They don't see anything beyond life on temporary earth. I feel like snorting on their faces but that'd just be plain dumb and rude ainnit? *Shakes head* All that food in your mouth *points to mouth*, comes from Him *points up there*.

I'm a better person, stronger if I dare say so myself. However, who are we to say this is just all that we're going through? Who am I to say I won't break a leg or be mentally delusional later on? All those things up there that happened, deaths of my closed ones..all of those bad bad mean mean things that happened made me an even stronger person in life. I'm able to make decisions, be independant, help others. I just want you to know there is still hope. I have lots of friends who are living the world like its permanently Las Vegas and I'm telling you there's way more things waiting for you guys further up there.

"And the stupor of death will come in truth..." (Qur'an 50:19)

And if you do ever feel sad, do good to others. It's like a miracle cure. Trust me. You'll feel wonderful. There's nothing like forgetting our problems when looking at the ones worst-off than ours. To see them smile appreciatively at us is like, Wow.

'Your life is the product of your thoughts. The thoughts that you invest in will have an indelible effect upon your life, regardless of whether they are happy thoughts or miserable thoughts.'

So think happy thoughts and you'll live a happy life.

A poet said:
"Fear does not fill my heart before the occurence of that which is feared,
And I don't become overly distressed if that event does occur."

I'm happy and comfortable with who I am now. Experience have 'toughened up' my sense of 'streetsmart, Girl-power' attitude. I look back and I'm like, "Hello?! Who's that ding dong bell over there?" Take a look at the big picture. Being emotional ain't no help. Not permanently.

What is a break-up compared to the death of my childhood friend? What is being molested compared to those who are raped? I Thank God I've been tested with.. challenges that are still somehow 'mundane' enough for me to show my Faith in him, that I can cope with living in His world.

Never talk when you can nod,
Never stop when you can help and move on.

What would I be if none of the above happened? A wimp.
Experience is good. Pain is inevitable. We all go through it everyday. The difference among us is what we do when one of those Inevitable moments take a turn, a lurch, in our daily lives. What do you do?
I did it. God has tested me Emotionally, Physically, Mentally and I have no doubt that there's more to come. The break up (yes, it did hurt me; BAD), the hardships faced by my family, and the.... that lah. I did it :)

"The past is lost forever, and that which is hoped for is from the unseen, So all that you have is the present hour."

Don't find pleasure; it's temporary, it's worldly. Look for happiness; it lasts, it belongs to us. We have every right to claim it from Him. He's got it all up there ppl, all up there. Just have Faith and believe that NOTHING in this world can bring us down unless He permits it. Then you stand up again. Prove Him wrong. He'll love you for it.

OMG I HAVEN'T SAPU YET!

A Demon Alright.

2008-01-21T05:01:00.000-08:00

What's beside my pillow: Don't Be Sad - 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni
A copy of Cleo 2005 Godknowswhen issue.

Nah, I'm not sad. Nor can I read Arabic. It's the translated version. Lol. Its just a book my mom got from Mecca and it's pretty good. Makes perfect sense about life and it's not a book just for muslims, it's for anyone who wants to achieve happiness and self-contentment in life. Letting go, because there's so many things other than being as-what-you-thought highly 'unfortunate' and having a crummy pissed-off attitude. It's not excessively full of that psychological nonsence like certain self-help books. It's got quotes and saying by muslims and non-muslims alike. For example:

"Do not be sad: overlook the action of others."

It's as easy as that isn't it.

Anyway I've watched 'Sweeny Todd: The Demon's Barber of Fleet Street.' I mean, of course I would, I'm an avid fan of musicals and c'mon, do NOT tell me Johnny Depp didn't catch your attention. However....a note to the faint-hearted: DON'T watch this unless you bask in the pleasures of watching Mr.T cut throats and witnessing torrents of blood shooting out like the fountains of KLCC. No, worse than that.
It's pretty sick, honestly. I was cowering on my seat; not sitting on the edge of it *hah!*. Caught the 11am show with my sis last Sunday and we reckon there won't be a crowd and there wasn't. I wish there were though, I wouldn't be the only one making loud 'EEEEEEEEEWWW's' , 'OuuuuuuMaaaaaaiiiiGaaaaawd THAT'S DIS-GUS-TING!' ,'Shit shit shit He's gonna do IT..... UUURGH!' and *GASP's!*

LOL. Apparently that's the part of 'musicals' I wasn't exposed to. I mean, I've seen and been to loadsa happy ones and maybe the occasional sad lower notes but not... Gruesome, gory.. inhumane.....urgh. Not everything you do makes you wanna burst in a random happy song, I've learned that from Mr. Sweeny Todd himself. *nods head*

I'll watch Edward Scissorshands anytime of the day, week, month, year, whatever.

Contrary to that, the show was perfect. Overwhelming, yes but it's a genius's work! The costumes, music, make-up, singing, the whole damn storyline was 'FUH' I tell you. Greatness. Johnny Depp IS the greatest actor of his generation! Best Picture (Musical or Comedy) from the Golden Globe Awards, don't miss it. So please do watch it if you can tahan that sorta thing. If you can't then you won't be able to appreciate it cuz it's gonna scare the shit outta you and you'd be busy pissing in your pants you can't quite able give it a rating. I'm like, on the line. And I'd like to read the book.

I like Helena Bonham Carter. And the Toby character. And the last shot of the movie, it totally gives you that whole eerie effect like 'vengeance..revenge at last!' yet 'awww' sad romantic sorta thing. Puurrrfect. Love it love it love it.

Snape and Peter Pettigrew's in it too! BAHAHAHa!

But I can't watch it anymore, no. *shudder*

I'll stick to Hairspray, Fame, Grease, Saturday Night Fever, Stomp.... I do want to watch 'Across the Universe' though. I heard it's gooood. Anybody ada itu DVD?

So the cheerleading's running on track, we've got a few pretty good moves. We practice in this cheerleader's house at night. Met Shah, nice dude. Wei Li came over to help too. HAHA. It was fun trying to overtake each other. I love making weird faces at her when I kat depan. Let the Volvo seep thru honeyh!

I'm SUCHA bad driver though I'm still surprised I haven't got a ticket. It's so wrong. It's like reversing Mona Fendi's death penalty. Even though she's dead already. *Shrugs*

Oh but it IS lovely to take a drive out early in the morning though. Sunday morning. Just don't pass Eng Ann market. Tak ke manalah you, satu hari tercegat tunggu orang reverse kereta.

Check out www.sweenytoddmovie.com.

"We're hip, we're fun, we're gonna get you.. So you better run!" WINK!

2008-01-15T01:33:00.000-08:00

"Kau terriiiiiiindaaaaaaaaaah.....

Masiiiiiiiih aadaaaaaaaaa......

Yang tercantiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik........

Itu Kamu."

:D. Me absoluto LABB this song. Estranged-Itu Kamu. Schweet Mweet.

Anyway today's a good day even though nothing much happened but yeah, still good. Just took Iman for her shower and had to force her to wash her hair cuz she can be SUCH pest at times. And yeah well.. she wasn't the only one that came out wet. I was literally wrestling with her. She kept grabbing the gayong and the shower. And spraying water on me. NOT fun.

Went and watched Game Plan with San yesterday. It's an OK show, sweet and sad at some point.

I've been Bob Marleying, Estranged-ing, Lauren Hilling, Bette Midler-ing and The Shirelles-ing. And dancing.

Cuz it's fun. It's therapeutic. It's frees the mind and soul. What do you think I go to gym for? Dance laaah. And maybe purple dumbelling if Sal or Lynn forces us to. I don't use all those big big heavy machines... They scare me.

Anyway I'm contemplating on whether to teach Red House cheerleading since I've got a request to. MANA BOLEH. I Blue House tau dulu! *Pembelot*.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, it'll be a lot of fun to bully those girls. I'd be able to reminisce and alleviate my 'missing-ness' of school life. And I'd be able to dance.

I taught 'cheerleading' when I was Form 5. And we won. *bangga...bangga..*LOL :D. Tak pernah2 Blue House menang for cheerleading. I mean duh. We HAD to. I used a drum stick to hit those girls' legs (or butt) if they're not smiling or lifting their legs up properly. Or if they're late. And I'm just sooo proud of them even though they can appear to be the most gedik of all the gedikness. *shudder* Still. They're lovely though.

Oh yeah actually I told them to be extra gedik. Cause that the most important factor in cheerleading. Ah, it seems like yesterday when I was screaming at the to go, "GEDIK! GEDIK!! LAGI GEDIK!! XTRA GEDIK!!" during practise. Sigh. Good times..good times I tell you.

Cheerleading is SO lame, it's cool. The skirts, the gedikness, the menyampah-ess, the pre-trash talking on other teams, the backstabbing, the high ponytails, ribbons, pom-poms, the before and after euphoria of completing the formation, the smiles plastered on faces, the squeaky cheers, the bouncing feet, the make-up, the lost of freaking underwears and stockings 5 mins before the show and the final shouts.

I remember two years ago when I was pretty hard on my cheerleaders. Stayed back everyday. We had our laughs, really fun moments but straight up serious shyt when dancing. But girls will be girls you know..sometimes senior cakap pun tak dgr cuz they're too busy putting on their make-up or gossiping bout whoz going out with who.

So according to one of the girls, which I gave a really, really good telling off (well..actually I screamed at her face right before our performance because she was honestly being a pekak badak), she 'couldn't help' getting the smile off her face and being the Queen of Gedik at that particular moment cuz I was in her mind the whole time. HAHAHA. She was in the 'IN YOUR FACE' moment so yeah. Well. That worked out didn't it.

OK girls, time to fish out those drum sticks again! And the blue skirt. For Red House. Ooh, and don't forget those mighty POM-POMS! Woot! GO RED!!

And the ponytail goes bouncing away..

Oh wait. This ponytail came off. *strikes pose*

The Havoc on San's 19th....

2008-01-13T00:08:00.000-08:00

What's beside my pillow: Yesterday's STAR publications

So it has been quite a week.

Condolences to Sidhartaan's family. Their 10 year old only boy died in a car accident in India
with his aunt. My mum's tuition student. 'Naughty' would be the perfect word to describe him, but you know....DAMN we just don't know when we're gonna go do we? It's so ironic how one's face lingers in ones mind once they're not here anymore. I can't get his huge teeth, big smile, thick glasses on a small head out of my mind. It's crazy. I can't quite know how to face his mum either, (she used to send me to school when I was in Convent back then) or his sisters which I had particularly gotten fond off. They're the happy family kind you know.

And condolences to Janice and her family. I never knew auntie was sick. Mum's friend who sends me off to school when I started Convent before they migrated to NZ. God. God God God.

And my prayers are always with Sheenee's mum. We all hope the cancer goes off away and alhamdullilah, it did. It came back. But insya-Allah, with all our doa's and prayers with her, and if God permits it, she'll be with us for as long as we hope.

So many deaths, it's waaay too much for me to handle. Right before my parents went off to their hajj in the airport itself, my mum got the news that her friend, ex-boyfriend to be exact, passed away. Uncle Nabil, a chinese convert who left Sgp and brought his whole family to New Zealand. It's like this whole wave of depression swept over my mind. They're all leaving. Young and Old. You never know.

Tells us that we've to live life to the fullest kan. Yet also that God can take it anytime He wants. Que is, when He does, are we ready to face Him, the Exalted?

I'll be honest with you. I'm not afraid to die. I know I'm not supposed to anyway and maybe it's because of my being adamant in believing what's right in Islam. In my religion there is nothing you should be afraid of, nothing you should fear of except Allah s.w.t. The thought of dying is....still neutral, still bland, not very vague though, if you know what I mean (which you don't). Like it's nothing. But I know I should. Because I'm not there there yet you know. Yes, I pray, yes I do read the Quran. Is it enough for a one way ticket to Syurga Firdaus, though? I haven't taken to donning the hijab yet, or better known as tudung. I don't drink. I've repented in things I shouldn't have done but are my repentance enough?

So very the many things to think of. Safe enough for me to say with confidence, my mind never stops thinking, cept when I'm asleep of course. Lol. Sigh...am I ready..am I ready...

But anyway, lets leave the inevitable behind for awhile and re-cap back on my week. It's pretty good despite the deaths. I mean, deaths happen everyday right and if we dwell on it we'd be on our toes in what we do every nano-second of the day and heck, that's mindjigglingboggling enough.

It was beloved SAN'S birthday last thurs (which was also our maal Hijrah 1429) so I wished her after maghrib on Wed which means it's our new year already which means it's already San's birthday :D. We gave her surprise; we, comprising of me, Shahman and Wei Li.

It's my first meeting Wei Li btw, she's a real darling I tell you. Sooooo nice. Like San said, If we were guys we'd fall in love with her already. HAHAHAHA. I swear only girls from girl's school think of stuff like this. It's crazy. And it scares Wei Li nuts off her boo boo. :P Don't you find it annoying? Haha. When I first came to convent I'll tell yuh the first week was absolutely hell for me. I though there were lesboz everywhere. Fortunately for me lah, they're just wired that way. To be extravagantly blunt in their thoughts and actions. And I ..well...'reinforced' my thoughts and actions too I suppose. :P

Well ANYWAY, (see, I got caught off guard again NOT saying what I was suppose to say), I sorta planned her 'surprise' in the last min. It was 3.30, probably, and Shahman was online so blah blah blah, told him to come over, dragged Wei Li along. I left the house at 6 cuz I had to mandi and parents were back with the car by then and picked Shahman up at Raja Mahadi and there was this whole commotion of that arse being late and me not having credit and having to patah balik to the shops and getting lost halfway and when we FINALLY picked Wei Li up at her hse cuz she was mandi-ing or whatever, Shahman DELIBERATELY tried to get me lost because they showed me another way back to Jusco. I mean SERIOUSLY ppl, right while pointing left? I know you don't get me but I was screeching all the way back. And someone took my parking space. MY parking space at the taxi stand beside Jusco. MINE I tell you! *that ass monkey idiot effer*

Then we had to park belakang which is sooo very the far away and as usual as we were walking I noticed that the......the fella *sputters* that took MY parking space just decided to go off at the particular moment. Dum dums, I swear these ppl are trying to get on my damn nerves. And this happened twice ok. It's blahdy irritating lah.

So we rushed in with the huge recipe book skali and went running in all directions looking for stuff. And by the Greatness of LORD, they don't hv sodium bicarbonate!! Would you ever believe that?! Jusco?! TOP-UP lah aiyoooh!

So we had to drop by 99 and luckily ada. Rushed back and sembahyang cuz it was maghrib and prayed that Wei Li and Shahman have yet to burn my kitchen into blazes.

They haven't.

Oh we stole some balloons from Jusco while we're at it.
It was pretty fun, the whole thing. The squishing (Me, with fingers :D), yelling (all of us), multiplying (Shahman), measuring (Wei Li), sitting looking dumb (Shahman), egging (Wei Li), tasting (ME), coughing, sneezing (Iman), battering (Me and my sis. Couldn't resist. It was SO good), baking (me), icing (Wei Li), decorating (all of us). We added peanut M&M's in the batter. And decorated the cake with it. Damn sedap lah I tell you. The cake looks colourful. And lovely.

The panicking.....(Shahman). Yeah well...he didn't know nuts bout baking. He thought the batter looked like diarrhoea-ed poo that smells like eggs and functions as a batter. Tsk.

the melting chocolating (Wei Li)....

The mixing (Shahman, me. We took turns cuz he was such a sissy at handling the mixer)...

The finished product! All smiles and happy happy, yeah yeah.

19 years old but still kebudak-budakan at heart.

By the time we finished everything to admire our work, the icing just started to DROOP dammit, so we had to freeze it for awhile. Shahman and Wei Li gagged at Iman play 'Phantom of The Opera' on the piano and the dude resolved to marry my sister. Which is wrong cuz I'm his mother.

It's complicated, the whole thing.

So I changed and by the time we got out of the house it was 10.30. We took the balloons and Wei Li held the cake in front so it's near the air-cond. Stopped by 7/11 to get a lighter cuz everyone in my house is too daft to need a lighter or matchbox for some unknown reason. Tsk.

Reached her hse at 11 cuz the ENGINE STOPPED right in the middle of a freaking bulatan! And Shahman laughed all the way cuz girls do make cars stopped yes, but only freaking manual cars and I must be something to be able to stop an AUTO car. Something must be wrong, yes yes I know but not for a nanosecond did it ever occur to me that the minyak habis.*DUH HANNAH, DUUUUH!!!* Some kinda driver I must be right. *snort*
So, compose yourself. I started the engine and thought everything should be ok already lah. Parked under some tree to hide and we huddled beside a bush to light up the candles. Called San out and YAY! We surprised her with the huge bunch oF yellow balloons and homemade chocolate M&M cake, singing the 'Happy Birthday to yooooooooooooooooooooou' song.

She one dungu, cut the cake beside the road there itself and we suaped her with it. HAHA.

We decided to go mamak and omg, it was one of the most memorable mamak I've ever had in my entire gorgeous life. I've never laughed so much. Ok, maybe not as much as the time in Berkeley Corner where San spat ice on my nose, which FREAKING HURTS btw. But funny. Mcm nak..apetuh..pecah perut. Lol.

But it was good. We crapped ourselves silly and I told Wei Li bout the train incident. She was bumused! No kidding, who wouldn't be! *stares directly at San and Shahman. These two asses*

Went back to San's hse to send the cake and then hantar-ed Shahman and Wei Li balik. And while we were...well, screeching, literally, to Maroon 5's 'Won't Go Home Without You', the car stopped. Again. But no Hannah, noo...the car couldn't possibly have ran out of minyak right, cuz ur just too damn PANDAI to know anything about mobiles right. I shouldn't hv been behind the wheel I tell you, it was just SO WRONG.

Shahman then showed us the way back with his motor (I felt like running over him I tell you. It was just an impulse sorta thing cuz he kept looking back and I kept yelling "HOT ASS!" out of my window). San came home with me and we lepak-ed till what, 2 or 3 in the morning. Till her sis pick her up.

Ho hum. It was all a very interesting night, with the car stopping in the middle of nowhere..the nonsensicals crap shyt during the mamak session...meeting Wei Li.....the baking hooohaa....the balloons (which got stolen by someone else in the end)..........LOL. We chatted crazy stuff when San was over and I was glad I could make her 19th birthday a memorable one.

SAN!!

Oh yeah, call us if you need any of our baking services :) *splutter splutter*

I'm not kidding.

Me Brotha.

2008-01-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

Oh wait, I forgot. This is another one that I like.

Random dialogues overheard in my house.
things u can overhear in the suhaili household:
in the kitchen.
kakak: what r u doing?
arif: edible blue sugar.
scene: all taking a break from helping papa. he arrives home, hearing the creak of the gate...
me: *hushed voice* faster faster! act busy!
*all starts doing their jobs.....*
papa: Assalamualaikum.
iman: PAPA C! IM ACTING BUSY! *holding brown wrapping paper up*
scene: mama back from pasar.
mama: ni dah beli susu, full cream utk iman, low fat utk kakak-kakak.
all kakak- kakak gives 'LOOK'
scene:in the kitchen.
me: what r u doing?
arif: edible green sugar.
scene: in my room.
arif: nona (he calls me that) do u c anything different on my face? *puts his face up close to mine.
me: ur hair looks bigger than ever.
a: no! nona u so bad!
me: ur hidung looks more penyek.
a: no!
me: ur teeth is yellow.
a: *frustrated* no lar nona..!
me: *squints even harder*.......ur lips r green.
a: *laughs* yes!!
scene: in the kitchen, i walk in. looks at food colouring on the table.
arif: edible red sugar.
i walk off.
scene: in the showers.
me: AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! I PUT DETTOL ON MY HAIR!!!!
scene: in the showers.
nafisah: *screams n shrieks like mad fella as if her life depended on it * DEAD COCKROACH!!HELP ME OUTTA HEEERREEE!!
scene: in kakak's room, reading.
kakak: hannah am i fat?
me: yeah, obese. *reads on without looking*
scene: all sisters in my room, doing...whatever they're doing.
arif comes in.
a: sister no.1, mama ask to mop the floor. sister no.2, sapu the lantai. n sister no.3, gantung baju. sister no.4, come down n eat!
all: U DO WHAT?!
sign outside mine n nafisah's room.
''PLZ KNOCK ON THE DOOR BEFORE COMING IN. F.Y.I, THIS IS A GIRLS ROOM!''
n we only hv one brother.
sign found outside arif's room, the next day.
''PLZ KNOCK THE DOOR BEFORE COMING IN.......N CLOSE THE DOOR AFTER COMING IN!''
scene: in the living hall, watching tv.
arif: u know nona i want to make a show like the art attack one.
me: then make lar.
arif: tsk, but the use the title already. so i'll use ''Fart Attack''.
scene: i asked arif to pinjam me something. he said ok. but i slept off early cuz of SPM so he placed that thing beside my mattress n told me to go back to sleep. next morning, i found that thing, wif a note on it. it read:
''flip the paper''
n i did. behind it,
''Good Luck (with a smiley face on the 'u') & all the best. go go chayo!
to nona.
did i ever tell u i love my brother? :)

Old Musings.

2008-01-07T21:23:00.001-08:00

Morning peeps.

So I was going through 'My Uhtherr' blog, the one in Friendster. And browsed back to the really really old yesteryear posts. I particularly like the one entitled, 'Crushes. *Giggles*-*Pukes*-Smiles*'. :) It's cuz I wrote about my first crush ever and I when I read it, I found myself going, "No kidding? Awww.....So Scheeeewt...." I was actually giggling away!
Haha. No shit.

Anyway here are some of my 2 year old poems I published in the other blog ages ago.

My Pretty Butterfly..
A pretty massacre, you were...
Butterfly.
You made a frown into a smile.
Thee cried out loud for the nectar u want
I gave you the love, you shoo-ed me awain't.
But then you came back, dear butterly..
when you needed the love, you're satisfied.
what was I to you, masterpiece?
A piece of trash, that lost her virginity?
Or that idiot who lost her purest bit?
Did you hate me for that, hmm.. dear butterfly?
Loathed at the sight of me, whenever I come by?
River of love came pouring out,
I hated it, but I've got no one to let go.
Don't take it back, not worth it am I?
Ditch me in that pretty hibiscus, y don't you try?
Should I come back to you, should I decline,
that love you once gave me, once pure and blind.
like that sheet of paper in a spiraled glass,
unknown and confused to all that was in sight.
Contents unraveled, I, despair.
My heart crumbled, I, you didn't care.
Dear butterfly, why so lovely are you?
A picturesque view..you caught by me.
I fell for your beauty..you stung me,
with your beautiful sound, your flutter of wings.
Thee now shall not come again,
for I will shoo you away, till you cling to your life.
Your vengeance towards me was enough,
To prove my last bit of purity ..was left behind.

P.s: I think I wrote this ..somewhere at the end of Form four. Yeah. Kinda harsh, something must've happened that triggered me to write something like this.

The Past Is Far From the Present. I'm Not Made Of Steel.
Stop your tears from over-flowing
Don't, for once think of the past as the present.
Wipe those liquid crystals from your lashes
Don't feel the need to ever be loved.
-
Stooped so low, you'd think, how possible
To garner solace and to feel needed.
Flashbacks that goes snap snap snap
You'd shake your heard in utmost ignorance.
-
Didn't happen, no, was it just dreams?
Or is the ignorance of the past too real
Does it hurt that bad, does it knife your senses?
Do you really think it's worth half your attention?
-
Erase the heartbeat you have had for him
The throbbing pain of your consciousness shall fade away.
Doubt no more, my dear, for you will
Be the woman that heeds no pain.

P.s: Haaa..this one I remember. It's after a break-up with so and so. Obviously. Lol.

My Pride is My Greatest Weakness
My Pride and I, we're two in one
She's my best bud, my other half.
She saves my neck from petty accidents
But she's a real bitch when I'm getting comfortable.
Why do you say that? you say
She's stolen enough ppl from me, I say.
She's a bullshitting piece of junk when I'm happy
Hates sharing, she told me.
But I've got my own life, haven't I?
My Pride won't let me go, n sadly, so do I.
I need her but she's more than a rotten betrayer.
She makes use of herself in the most disgusting behaviour.
She loves putting herself up front,
She loves being my priority.
I try to let her loose,
But she fucking won't budge an inch.
She can be real nice at times you know,
especially when I need her most.
Like in awkward situations or when i feel a tad bit shy,
She puts her feet upfront and takes full charge.
I'm devoted to her for making me who I am now,
But I'm guessing she doesn't know her limits.
I've got to let my guard down once in a while,
I can't keep on kissing her polished feet.
I've hurt more than enough people
with she, being the third person.
I realise that (sigh), I'm not always the right one,
But She's worse than Cruella Devil in a pig sty.
Sometimes Pride and Ego works hand in hand
Which makes me turn out to be the ultimate bitch.
They love what they're doing, they adore their personal touch.
But I absolutely abhor their insidious tricks.
I guess for now it's up to Soul,
To take Pride away from her ultimate goal.
She'll always be with me, that's a certainess
But unfortunately, my Pride is my greatest Weakness.

P.s: Yang ni....quite a while ago. Also 2 years. Can't remember why I wrote this though.

My so-called writing skills pun dah karat now. So I shall just make do with whatever I've written back then.

I shall 'sharpen' it, well, maybe when something drastic happens. God'll will so happen-ly gimme a pair of magical hands and an even more ingenius brain to go with it. Then only I'll publish ah.*nods head, abrupt Jap style*

The Noose and MukaBuku.

2008-01-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

HAHAH. I just read shak's review of The Noose which is currently this new tv show on Mediacorp. And I do agree to some extent.

It's honestly a pathetic attempt trying to amuse it's audience in a trying-too-hard-to-be slapstick 'original' blunt comedy kinda way. It's an original idea, no doubt bout that. No chetak rompak nonsence. The tv show might've just been clowns on fitballs and you'd get the same expression on your face after 5 mins though. I've seen it, yeah. Ridiculously, lamely hilarious but to some ppl it's beneath more than you can ever put anything underneath you. It also gives us the impression that Mediacorp's running out of ideas. Hmm..This looks like an emergency. Weirdly enough.*shrugs*

It's played by a few different characters played by the same ppl with funny different accents which can go horribly wrong like a cicak sounding like a donkey.

Haha. That'll be cute.

Anyway, here are the characters. I can only remember two of 'em.

The ever original Gurmit Singh. -I honestly wonder what Mediacorp's ever gonna do without him. Honestly.

Adriana Wow (The name says it all eh? *snorts*). A dumb red-head that shoots out from modelling school and ''they didn't teach me how to use a mic..".

and two more dungus that's more shameless than a troll without underwear on. *_*

It's the kinda of show that could irritate your socks off if you've had a bad day. Or it can serve as your personal E.T after you've had your few round off drinks after clubbing the whole night.

The Noose, is after The News at 10pm every Sundays.

A total morinic ironic descripency to the news industry. The serious one.

Btw, I do laugh at The Noose sometimes. Just the parts when it's naturally funny and not dibuat-buat. Like they say, 'tau takpe..'

Currently reading book from Christopher 'baru' (New), The Chinese Box but you know what, if you've already read it then plz plz plz tell me how the ending goes. It has, by any content at all, yet to interest me. Or maybe I'm just in a mood for a good chick flick or something. Like Sophie Kinsella's, although she's way too over-rated and I didn't like the Shopaholics series much anyway. Preferred The Undomestic Goddess. But give me Jane Green anytime. She so very the rocks man!!

I haven't had a good gossip novel in CENTURIES.

Or give me Sidney Sheldon. Only one of his books hv failed me so far. 'The Stars Shine Down'. Not good....not good...*shakes head* But the rest aren't short of Fabfckinglous.

Anyway Facebook is a RIOT. 100% riot I tell yuh. You can add applications and all yeah, and some of 'em are reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally too 'outofthisworld' for words, I was too boring a person to accept the invitations. Over 200 applications. I'm gonna start ignoring them one by one And this is probably why:-

1. Are you a great lover?

'So and So wants to know how great a lover you are! Answer nine short questions and find out instantly - it's that easy'

-hmm...I shouldn't think so. I've never really been good at it. I've been known to be

a) too sensitive

b) intimidating

c) make my partner feel inferior -same thing lah

d) bite- not meaning Literally. dum dums.

e) impatient

f) too good for them (hahah. I LIKE this one :D)

g) unreasonable

all in all they just can't STAND me lah.

2)Secret Admirer- Crush on ME!(PERFECT MATCH!)

'Some one CRUSHED you. One of Your Friends Might Have a Crush on You! Find out who CRUSHed you? Send a Return Gift, Kiss to the Anonymous CRUSH FIND WHO has a CRUSH on you NOW? '

-someone has 'Crushed' me?!*squeals!* Oh my, how exciting! .........................................................Whatever does that mean?

3) What blood type are you?

'So and So is taking a Blood Type test to determine blood type and love match with friends. Would you like to take one too at What Blood Type Are You?? Warning: Mismatch in blood types can result in serious physical condition and emotional dysfunction! :=)'

-I mean, honestlee... serious physical condition and emotional dysfunction? I'd eat my taugehs!

4)You're sooooo Good Looking

'I think You're Sooo Good Looking! Click here to see your ranking! And don't forget to vote for your good looking friends!'

-I know this already, thanks.

5)Flirtable. Uncountable requests.

'So and So thinks you should be flirting. Join Flirtable to meet cool people across Facebook and share private messages and gifts!'

-Eh? I tak main all this flirt-flirt on computer yew. Ish. I original tau. *Flips hair*

Ignore Ignore Ignore Ignore.Hmm...anything interesting to mock here...

6) How lazy are you?

'Blah bla bla wants to know how lazy you are! Answer eight short questions and find out instantly - it's that easy!.

- *_*

7)Flirty or Hard-To- Get?

'Bla voted you HARD-TO-GET. Are your friends Flirty or Hard-to-get? '

-A dozens hard-to-gets and one flirty. No SHIT. Guess from who.

Ohmeegoodness. A dozen ppl want to 'hug' me.

Hm. You shouldn't hug strangers. Ignore ignore ignore. I know I'm huggable but yeah, it's not nice you know. Next

8)What Fruit are you?

'Bloa bloa bloa Find out what fruit you are! Answer nine short questions and find out instantly - it's that easy!

-Why would anyone want to know?Seriously seriously? go.....flirt or something.

9)What type of person do you attract?

'Yak yak yak wants to know what type of people you attract! Answer the short questions to find out instantly!'

-You know, I'm beginning to think Facebook's more than just a mere social roundup of friends thing.

I doubt I'm able to attract any of my 3B'S, big, bald and beautiful men, online.

10)Kamasutra IQ

'mm hmm wants to know what is your Kamasutra IQ ! Answer eight short questions and find out instantly - it's that easy!'

-Eh, jgn buat malu onlaaain laa..

Pillow Fights, HoboWars, Zombies, Vampires, Slayers, Werewolves, You're Naughty, What kind of Kisser Are You?, Defence on the Ancients (no, seriously), Predict You Future, What Disney Princess Are You?, Are YOU Interested?, and a whole lotta nuts which makes your page longer that Bush's nose. Nak scroll bawah pun Ya Allah, punyela mengambil masa yang begitu lama!

I used to hv the vampires application (I was a Rockstar Vampire) and werewolves and what not..........and I just naturally suck at it. I can't fight. The application agrees with me on this. I was a Pancit Vampire more than anything.

Give me an argument. I'm better verbally.

I should start writing poems again. Problem is, they turn out to be jiwang. Cuz I always write when I'm a in jiwangfied mode. Only a few handfuls of funny wunny ones. And they're not even damned good. TSK.

Anyway nightey ppl.

I dah penat yeeew.

I'm Growing Up. I think.

2007-12-28T08:31:00.000-08:00

I procrastinate too much it's getting ridiculous.

Ah anyway that's way out of the topic. There's no topic, I just feel like typing nonsensicals.

Went out for a midnight movie with San on wed night and watched I Am Legend. Good movie, honestly worth watching. Especially the part where Mr Hottie-Will Smith's working out, the sweat glistening on his body, those effing abs on his dark skin, his ARMS dammit. I swear I was holding my breath the whole time. Hotness melampu youu.
Sad ending, but it's the kind where you watch only once to get the initial effect. Or you watch it ten years after or something.

I'm contemplating of doing my degree in S'pore. Watchu think?

Listening to Lenny Kravitz-Again. One of my all time favs. And it's got NOTHING to do with this one part of him being completely naked in his videoclip, no siree..*shakes head*

Anyway the parents are gonna touchdown in Changi this Monday and I'll be there to meet them. And probably drive back to Klang on that same day. Or the day after.
You know being just us sibs without parents has at some point taught me stuff. A lot of things actually. Especially like handling the business. It gets so crazy when things are rushed. Hell lotta responsibility involved and much as I like to say I was oh-so-naturally-talented at this and I've matured a whole lot more than my already matured self, I haven't.

Well maybe an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dotted bikini bit lah.
HAHA.
Oklah, one thing for sure is I know what it feels like to be...like my dad. What he does for our family and all. He works pretty damn hard. I wanna be like him. I just fall short in the 'responsible' area. You know.

But hey, alhamdulillah everything went ok, ok. No customers angry at us or whatever. I'm better at photoshop. *tee-hee*

(That sounded like something from the Archie comics.)

Eh I LIKE Archie comics ok.

And you know, I honestly think there were some potholes in the first season of Heroes. Like...something's missing or something. Oh, no I didn't watch it from TV (we don't even hv Astro). I've got the whole thing in a cd and watched it for two nights straight.
Exams esok buuut...nothing to do with it laaah..

Milo Ventimiglia's a sexgod. Honestly. I loved him in Gilmore Girls. Now he's like...oooooooh *eyes sparkling like Lana Lang's*

You know if I DO end up doing my degree in S'pore..I'll be there for what- 3-4 years?
Isn't that super long?
Like long long?

...................................................................................

But it's close to M'sia lar, so not that bad.
GOD I wish I stayed a kid.

It's got me thinking a lot lately, this budak thing. Ppl make decisions for you, ppl don't expect much from you. You don't hear ppl swearing, you sing while you shit cuz life's so easy peasy like that ooh, pretty butterfly kan? You hv pink cheeks and curly hair and everyone tells you you look like a doll and now you think you look like a mannequin gone WRONG!
And SOMEHOW, I honestly don't know how but God is great I tell ya- you were actually 'smarter' back then weren't you?
Weren't you?!

Ooh excuse me, I'm shrieking already (Like Diane Keaton in 'Because I Said So-I can't believe it made MSN's worst top ten movies of the year!). Tends to happen when I get over-excited. Which happens a lot. But I hope I don't end up like her. Good body for a woman her age but..........naah...skinny legs.

Ok I'm gonna watch Centre Stage now. (Like you care). But I'm gonna act like you do anyway. Toodles!

Love always always,
Machiam2 youu..

Intro...Red Carpet...I love trumpets.

2007-12-23T01:50:00.000-08:00

A proper one. BLOGGY!! Yayy!! Woohoo! Woot!

*daunting silence*

Hey I MOVED up man. Naik atas siket. Promoted. A real blog. I just hope it lasts. LOL. This is good. I'm feeling good. There's some good karma going around this house besides that awfully gimongous dragonfly just now.

Listening to Meet Uncle Hussain. He so very the rocks man. He goes like this:

'La La La La La Hari2 Kerja

la la la la la la bosan dengan kerja, HA-HA

la la la la hari harus kerjaaaaaa.... kerjaaaaaaaaaa'

That's the chorus. Repeat twice. Its a fun song admist the 'lalalalala'. Dad says 'LAGU APA ni Papa dah PENING LAH!'

But me and my sibs love it. It from the 'Kami' soundtrack. I don't watch it cuz I suck at being a complete couch potato. Ok I know I sound like I'm snickering bitch-too-good-for-tv type but I tend to...how do you say it..'forget' to watch itu episodes. Sometimes. Unless it's really good. It's really too tedious to remember the days and timings lar. I try to though. Most of the times I 'happen' to turn on to that idiot box n exclaim, 'oH, it's LOST today.'

And yeah, listen lah to La La La Kerjalah. It makes me wanna just move, shake, twist, turn my hair upside down all around Bukit Raja.

Those not M'sian nor S'porean will NOT be able to understand/decipher what this awful unbecoming never-gonna-hv-the-chance-to-be-unbecoming-either *pfft* writer's going on about.

Ah, New Shoes. A different sorta dance. One that you would somehow stay put on the spot. Paolo Nutini. Lah. Vanessa fault again.

It's mewsic eh, the first blog. It's like football (I don't watch it). Love. Bono. Pizza. Mother Nature. Mother Teresa? King Arthur? Princess Diana? Bloody BACKSTREET BOYS?

You get what I mean. International Language.

(Inconsolable is so.....like the other song that's got 'in' in front of it too. I forgot)

Btw I would just like to express my utmost indescribable infinite lyurve for these ppl: *clears throat*

-San. I am the moon. haha. joke. sheesh.

-Waipz

-Shermaine

-Julez

-Arlina

-Auntie June

-Vuhnessa

-Kimberly/Leanne

-Waz, Naz

-Gabriel- Honestly I still do miss this idiot. He's such a bastard. I hate him. Detest. Loathe.

And of course my family. No, I'm not gonna die soon nor am I diagnosed with some sorta sure to die disease. I just am used to express my gratitude and 'kasih sayang' since young. It's Barney's fault. (The last song especially)

Oh and the rest of me friends out there, 'course I love you guys. *smiles*

You know what, I hv this awful hunch that my mind honestly can't stay put for 5 seconds. It's like Homer Simpson 'cept that he's a total nutcracker and I'm the nicest kid in town.

Whoa that's like Hairspray's soundtrack from The Corny Collins Show!!

I *heart* Hairspray by the way.

I shall go now. I'm confusing everyone.

Till next time,

Machiam2 Youu..

*Come in and gossip with us wontchu?