Monday, August 16, 2010
Cause God won't put you through things you can go through.
It's been almost a year and a half since my big shift to Kelantan. The experience has been good so far, though sometimes I still struggle under the pressure of the society, and that mostly comes from my thoughts. I can't say I've been fully comfortable walking in my shoes here. I guess that's just part of life. One day I'll look back and say, "Ah well, those were the 4 most uncomfortable years of my life. I felt out of place. But I achieved my degree in that time." So yeah, always something good out of everything. I believe in that.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A Meme, mimsy.
1. The phone rings. Who will it be?
Arif. Just to tell me he loves me. *background goes 'awwww..'*
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
I don't use the cart; I usually try to juggle as many things as I can in my hand near my breasts or if it starts falling off, use the basket. Exercise, of course. I'm very particular in how my biceps can contribute in every possible way. I'm serious. *_*
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Talker. I try to live in the lines of 'Don't talk when you can nod' though, so that's a start isn't it? Realisation.
4. Do you take compliments well?
If it's with a close friend I'll be all, 'Tell me something I don't know' while batting my eyelashes; and if it's not, it's the same.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
Oh yes, I'm quite good at it actually. Addictive, those stuff. *background goes 'NERD!*
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
No. Even after spending a bit of my life leading tracks in the forest, No. Not alone. Maybe with Gary.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yes, tons. I refuse to go to formal camps now that I've grown up.
8. What was your favourite game as a kid?
Move the furniture around the house and create your own castle!
9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he was married, would you?
If he was Batista then YES! YES BABY OH, YES!
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I have. It went well till his mother butt in. We know what religion he is now don't we.
11. Use three words to describe yourself.
Oh plz. Seeing V's answer made me haughty to this question.
12. Do any songs make you cry?
Aaaah.... Wait, Avenged Sevenfold's most sappy song. 'Dear God'. When Arif was with another girl and he sent me that song. Hahaha. Jiwang habis. Man, those were the days.
13. Are you continuing your education?
I'd be replying this gaily if the university's location is in the Bahamas. Or even Sarawak lah wei.
14. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
No but I can do a pretty neat side kick, an impressive kick on the groin and my cuspids are decent enough for a good old classic bite.
15. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yes, often actually. I still wish those were around. Damn one ringgit paper notes.
16. How often do you read books?
More textbooks in uni, but I make an effort to borrow 2 fictions at a time at least. That's the maximum. For fiction. *rolls eyes*
17. What is your favourite children's book?
Timpetill from Manfred Michael. Roald Dahl comes next. I can't describe Timpetill. Find it and read it. Just read it.
18. What colour are your eyes?
Dark brown. Black. V's right, it doesn't matter in this part of the world. You should probably ask how hairy I am or something. You'd get a longer answer.
19. How tall are you?
A forgivable 5.0something feet. Because my boyfriend is big and tall and muscular. And I like my man big.
20. Where is your dream house located?
Would you believe it, Malacca? It's historical and touristy. And filled with beautiful things like dresses and handmade goodies. I'm shuddering thinking about it already. I can't wait. You're welcome anytime dear bloggers.
21. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grab?
Nothing. I'll panic and just run out. Screw materialism! Oh, my sister maybe.
22. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Where?
23. Where was the furthest place you travelled today?
PPSG. Pusat Pengajian Sains Pergigian. I have the best dentals I tell you. Doctors were amazed by my teeth. Never been scaled before, hardly rinse my mouth with mouth-wash or floss my teeth. Yet they did a thorough check-up on EVERY tooth and gum. Jeez. I've never been prouder in my life. *chest puffing out*
24. Do you like mustard?
With chilli sauce in 1901 beef hotdog. *stomach rumbles* Dang Kelantan. WHY no hotdogs?!
25. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Dad mostly. I have my mom's attitude.
26. Can you do the splits?
Used to. Now I have like, 6 more inches more to go before my crotch hits the bottom. Ugh.
How crude Hannah.
27. What movie do you want to see right now?
'This Is It'. Actually I crave to see ANY movie right now. There's not even a single cinema here.
28. What did you do for New Year's?
Boy V, what a coincidence. Stayed over at Grandma's (too), ate ice-cream or ayam masak merah (either) and watch Singaporeans try to act like they're having the time of their lives in the New Year's Eve party on national tv. And then I went to sleep.
29. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes I do.
30. What's the last letter of your middle name?
Middle name? Those things don't exist when you're of a Malay descent. Oh I suppose H would suffice.
31. What do you wear to sleep?
Whoa. Explicit content.
32. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Lively. I like lively people. I can't stand extremists.
33. Did you eat a cookie today?
Oreos. They complete me breakfast respite today.
34. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Shaize. What?
35. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I don't download music. No seriously. I don't. That's just ghastly. *tut tut*
36. What do you and your parents fight about?
Oh where do I start? But we're pretty balance out actually cuz my father says 'sucks' and 'bullshit' and my mother barbie-talks to us sometimes.
37. Are you a gullible person?
Oh man, this is actually embarassing. I'm actually bully material. Nuff said. V will be my protector from all evil beings who try to take my innocence away. *runs to corner and cries*
Arif. Just to tell me he loves me. *background goes 'awwww..'*
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
I don't use the cart; I usually try to juggle as many things as I can in my hand near my breasts or if it starts falling off, use the basket. Exercise, of course. I'm very particular in how my biceps can contribute in every possible way. I'm serious. *_*
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Talker. I try to live in the lines of 'Don't talk when you can nod' though, so that's a start isn't it? Realisation.
4. Do you take compliments well?
If it's with a close friend I'll be all, 'Tell me something I don't know' while batting my eyelashes; and if it's not, it's the same.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
Oh yes, I'm quite good at it actually. Addictive, those stuff. *background goes 'NERD!*
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
No. Even after spending a bit of my life leading tracks in the forest, No. Not alone. Maybe with Gary.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yes, tons. I refuse to go to formal camps now that I've grown up.
8. What was your favourite game as a kid?
Move the furniture around the house and create your own castle!
9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he was married, would you?
If he was Batista then YES! YES BABY OH, YES!
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I have. It went well till his mother butt in. We know what religion he is now don't we.
11. Use three words to describe yourself.
Oh plz. Seeing V's answer made me haughty to this question.
12. Do any songs make you cry?
Aaaah.... Wait, Avenged Sevenfold's most sappy song. 'Dear God'. When Arif was with another girl and he sent me that song. Hahaha. Jiwang habis. Man, those were the days.
13. Are you continuing your education?
I'd be replying this gaily if the university's location is in the Bahamas. Or even Sarawak lah wei.
14. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
No but I can do a pretty neat side kick, an impressive kick on the groin and my cuspids are decent enough for a good old classic bite.
15. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yes, often actually. I still wish those were around. Damn one ringgit paper notes.
16. How often do you read books?
More textbooks in uni, but I make an effort to borrow 2 fictions at a time at least. That's the maximum. For fiction. *rolls eyes*
17. What is your favourite children's book?
Timpetill from Manfred Michael. Roald Dahl comes next. I can't describe Timpetill. Find it and read it. Just read it.
18. What colour are your eyes?
Dark brown. Black. V's right, it doesn't matter in this part of the world. You should probably ask how hairy I am or something. You'd get a longer answer.
19. How tall are you?
A forgivable 5.0something feet. Because my boyfriend is big and tall and muscular. And I like my man big.
20. Where is your dream house located?
Would you believe it, Malacca? It's historical and touristy. And filled with beautiful things like dresses and handmade goodies. I'm shuddering thinking about it already. I can't wait. You're welcome anytime dear bloggers.
21. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grab?
Nothing. I'll panic and just run out. Screw materialism! Oh, my sister maybe.
22. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Where?
23. Where was the furthest place you travelled today?
PPSG. Pusat Pengajian Sains Pergigian. I have the best dentals I tell you. Doctors were amazed by my teeth. Never been scaled before, hardly rinse my mouth with mouth-wash or floss my teeth. Yet they did a thorough check-up on EVERY tooth and gum. Jeez. I've never been prouder in my life. *chest puffing out*
24. Do you like mustard?
With chilli sauce in 1901 beef hotdog. *stomach rumbles* Dang Kelantan. WHY no hotdogs?!
25. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Dad mostly. I have my mom's attitude.
26. Can you do the splits?
Used to. Now I have like, 6 more inches more to go before my crotch hits the bottom. Ugh.
How crude Hannah.
27. What movie do you want to see right now?
'This Is It'. Actually I crave to see ANY movie right now. There's not even a single cinema here.
28. What did you do for New Year's?
Boy V, what a coincidence. Stayed over at Grandma's (too), ate ice-cream or ayam masak merah (either) and watch Singaporeans try to act like they're having the time of their lives in the New Year's Eve party on national tv. And then I went to sleep.
29. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes I do.
30. What's the last letter of your middle name?
Middle name? Those things don't exist when you're of a Malay descent. Oh I suppose H would suffice.
31. What do you wear to sleep?
Whoa. Explicit content.
32. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Lively. I like lively people. I can't stand extremists.
33. Did you eat a cookie today?
Oreos. They complete me breakfast respite today.
34. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Shaize. What?
35. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I don't download music. No seriously. I don't. That's just ghastly. *tut tut*
36. What do you and your parents fight about?
Oh where do I start? But we're pretty balance out actually cuz my father says 'sucks' and 'bullshit' and my mother barbie-talks to us sometimes.
37. Are you a gullible person?
Oh man, this is actually embarassing. I'm actually bully material. Nuff said. V will be my protector from all evil beings who try to take my innocence away. *runs to corner and cries*
Happy Birthday V!
You must know that I am doing this on behalf of V's birthday. Because I assume this would be what she expects from me most. (I will ignore the fact that she actually REQUESTED it)
Well actually I gave the idea. Much less messy than posting Nasi Kerabu to Klang.
So Happy Birthday my dear girl. 19! Wowee. It's not much different from 20 really, I mean you aren't even the rebellious type so that's no fun. *hides snort* But then again you're awesome darling, that goes without saying. As far as pigs can fly (no, I'm kidding), you're the best internet buddy EVER and my greatest wish is to see you happily ever after with a certain figure oozing military macho-ness by your side. Or rub asses with Sigur Ros. Nevertheless, I wish you all the best in life *pats head*
I shall now attempt to menghiburkan you with what's been happening in my dear life tersorok in Kelantan. Do you want me to be optimistically disgusting or serve you the ugly truth on a silver plate?
*dumps 3-in-1 serbuk milo in mouth*
...*wipes mouth with the back of hand*
It sucks. It's as dead as a tikus tepi jalan. It's all pretty and such but really, for someone as vociferous as I am, (for those who knows me personally they nod their heads. See I told you so.) I'm practically suffocating in all this green serenity. Me! Complaining about the abundance of greenery and calmness and yada yada yada. It's all pretty at first but when it starts dawning on me that things aren't gonna get better or, 'livelier' during the weekends, I practically burst.
I shall not even touch on the people here. ( Medical + Dental + Allied Health Science = Let's just eat sleep poop and study for the next 5 years friends )
I'm just hanging on to a gnarly string of hope; to finish this off and get out of here. And get married to Arif of course.
But yeah, I guess when you're alone in a different place it gives you time to think so that's makes up for all the ishty business I have to go through.
Moving on, Arif's been a complete love to me. The obsessive hopeless jiwang he is, his world revolves around me. Which is unhealthy. Which, made me told him so.
What would you do if your partner is just the exact opposite of who you are? Isn't compatibility one of the important factors that builds a relationship?
And sometimes I have to wonder; why am I even complaining? I wanted him in the first place but...he's a boy V, a BOY. Sigh.
My mood has turned into a complete permanant waste-paper basket since being here. Amidst all the glamour of being in an APEX university, my life is as mundane as a rock.
It's more than culture shock when you see your room-mate waking at 1 am to study right till the next morning and go straight to school. I mean, what the hell? Don't they have a LIFE?! The ultimate entertainment here? The bowling alley in KB Mall or PCB- Pantai Cahaya Bulan.
I'm ranting too much; it's frustrating when you can't find anyone that's even near half a kepala as you are, it sucks even more when they label you as the 'Singaporean' and treat you like a musuem artefact, complete with pongos and feathery head- gears.
Sorry, I've never really told anyone how I felt. I needed that. And I haven't even expressed with profanity here; I'm being a good girl.
DESPITE that, (hehe) I LOVE my new home. V, you HAVE to come over one day. We've decided to christen it *clears throat*.. 'Anjung Kao Chap Kao' which is Anjung 99. Kao Chap Kao is 99 in hokkien and fits perfectly since Klang's major chinese community speaks Hokkien. The irony of it is our neighbour (I wonder if you know Louisa; from church maybe?) well yeah, she's our neighbour and her house is a mini-church. You'd put the cross sign on the roof and I'd be expecting people to come for mass every Sunday. Whereas our house next to it is like, the ultimate kampung/colonial getaway. Complete with atap nipah and a patio made from wood,a black and white exterior, a pond and a red gate.
"Haaallelujah" and Kao Chap Kao. I love it.
When does you STPM finish anyway?
I shall now do a meme. From your blog.
P.S: Anyone who's..anyone is welcome to comment on the blog and give me ideas, advice, answers whatsoever in any of my questions. Particularly about Arif. I am virtually, stuck.
Well actually I gave the idea. Much less messy than posting Nasi Kerabu to Klang.
So Happy Birthday my dear girl. 19! Wowee. It's not much different from 20 really, I mean you aren't even the rebellious type so that's no fun. *hides snort* But then again you're awesome darling, that goes without saying. As far as pigs can fly (no, I'm kidding), you're the best internet buddy EVER and my greatest wish is to see you happily ever after with a certain figure oozing military macho-ness by your side. Or rub asses with Sigur Ros. Nevertheless, I wish you all the best in life *pats head*
I shall now attempt to menghiburkan you with what's been happening in my dear life tersorok in Kelantan. Do you want me to be optimistically disgusting or serve you the ugly truth on a silver plate?
*dumps 3-in-1 serbuk milo in mouth*
...*wipes mouth with the back of hand*
It sucks. It's as dead as a tikus tepi jalan. It's all pretty and such but really, for someone as vociferous as I am, (for those who knows me personally they nod their heads. See I told you so.) I'm practically suffocating in all this green serenity. Me! Complaining about the abundance of greenery and calmness and yada yada yada. It's all pretty at first but when it starts dawning on me that things aren't gonna get better or, 'livelier' during the weekends, I practically burst.
I shall not even touch on the people here. ( Medical + Dental + Allied Health Science = Let's just eat sleep poop and study for the next 5 years friends )
I'm just hanging on to a gnarly string of hope; to finish this off and get out of here. And get married to Arif of course.
But yeah, I guess when you're alone in a different place it gives you time to think so that's makes up for all the ishty business I have to go through.
Moving on, Arif's been a complete love to me. The obsessive hopeless jiwang he is, his world revolves around me. Which is unhealthy. Which, made me told him so.
What would you do if your partner is just the exact opposite of who you are? Isn't compatibility one of the important factors that builds a relationship?
And sometimes I have to wonder; why am I even complaining? I wanted him in the first place but...he's a boy V, a BOY. Sigh.
My mood has turned into a complete permanant waste-paper basket since being here. Amidst all the glamour of being in an APEX university, my life is as mundane as a rock.
It's more than culture shock when you see your room-mate waking at 1 am to study right till the next morning and go straight to school. I mean, what the hell? Don't they have a LIFE?! The ultimate entertainment here? The bowling alley in KB Mall or PCB- Pantai Cahaya Bulan.
I'm ranting too much; it's frustrating when you can't find anyone that's even near half a kepala as you are, it sucks even more when they label you as the 'Singaporean' and treat you like a musuem artefact, complete with pongos and feathery head- gears.
Sorry, I've never really told anyone how I felt. I needed that. And I haven't even expressed with profanity here; I'm being a good girl.
DESPITE that, (hehe) I LOVE my new home. V, you HAVE to come over one day. We've decided to christen it *clears throat*.. 'Anjung Kao Chap Kao' which is Anjung 99. Kao Chap Kao is 99 in hokkien and fits perfectly since Klang's major chinese community speaks Hokkien. The irony of it is our neighbour (I wonder if you know Louisa; from church maybe?) well yeah, she's our neighbour and her house is a mini-church. You'd put the cross sign on the roof and I'd be expecting people to come for mass every Sunday. Whereas our house next to it is like, the ultimate kampung/colonial getaway. Complete with atap nipah and a patio made from wood,a black and white exterior, a pond and a red gate.
"Haaallelujah" and Kao Chap Kao. I love it.
When does you STPM finish anyway?
I shall now do a meme. From your blog.
P.S: Anyone who's..anyone is welcome to comment on the blog and give me ideas, advice, answers whatsoever in any of my questions. Particularly about Arif. I am virtually, stuck.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Attempted Resolution-Making List
I never really thought abt making new year's resolutions this year. For a permulaan, I've never taken these things seriously as opposed to...what freebies/new limited goodies Starbucks is giving out. I've probably never made one.
I guess I shall give it a try...
something realistic. Duh. *snorts*
1. Be smarter.
(My amazing self wonders how this is possible because my existence is beyond all this lowly tardy things such as smartness. *Sigh*....but I suppose one must be modest in such things and realise new-age shits such as 'constantly improving' oneself)
2. Be more modest?
(HAHA)
3. Patience...is a virtue...
(Something I actually see in me 'improving', thanks to the relationship with Arif. Lotsa give and take. Fudging consideration. It's killing me inside but...SUPPRESS the NEED TO ARGUE GIRL, DAMMIT!)I love the dude, and patience is a bloody virtue. (Whoever made that up should rot and be eaten by farting bats. PAin I tell u..sakiiiiiiiitt hati giler) But it's already under construction so.. BEEH PROUD OF ME YEW MORONS!
4. Meet V.
(nO EXCUSES. SUDAH TENTU kena buat ini resolution. My one and only setia reader of this....rats poo of merepeks)
*I can't think of anything else. Shittt. Resolution falls short of one number. I need at least 5!**squirms*
5. Err.... SING MORE!
TA-DA!! There. I did it. Simple enough I reckon, sume insya-Allah boleh dicapai punye. I feel proud of myself already *beams*.
So apa macam? Boleh kaa??
Any horse can do no.5 but I think the modesty crap is gonna be a hailstorm for me...Hmm..
I guess I shall give it a try...
something realistic. Duh. *snorts*
1. Be smarter.
(My amazing self wonders how this is possible because my existence is beyond all this lowly tardy things such as smartness. *Sigh*....but I suppose one must be modest in such things and realise new-age shits such as 'constantly improving' oneself)
2. Be more modest?
(HAHA)
3. Patience...is a virtue...
(Something I actually see in me 'improving', thanks to the relationship with Arif. Lotsa give and take. Fudging consideration. It's killing me inside but...SUPPRESS the NEED TO ARGUE GIRL, DAMMIT!)I love the dude, and patience is a bloody virtue. (Whoever made that up should rot and be eaten by farting bats. PAin I tell u..sakiiiiiiiitt hati giler) But it's already under construction so.. BEEH PROUD OF ME YEW MORONS!
4. Meet V.
(nO EXCUSES. SUDAH TENTU kena buat ini resolution. My one and only setia reader of this....rats poo of merepeks)
*I can't think of anything else. Shittt. Resolution falls short of one number. I need at least 5!**squirms*
5. Err.... SING MORE!
TA-DA!! There. I did it. Simple enough I reckon, sume insya-Allah boleh dicapai punye. I feel proud of myself already *beams*.
So apa macam? Boleh kaa??
Any horse can do no.5 but I think the modesty crap is gonna be a hailstorm for me...Hmm..
Monday, July 7, 2008
Just to menggembirakan you all with what's been happening.
Well HEL-LO dear bloggie. It seems a while since I've done anything on u. *YAAAAAAAAAAWN* No surprise there.
Ah anyway, since my 'love life' has finally found it's way back to Mars, here I am..blogging...having a day off from work.. going to gym. Life procedes back to normality once he stops picking me up. Or more like once he's in Penang and we've gone our separate ways.
(Cuz you see, when he picks me up I can't go to the gym you know, cuz we'd spend time with each other and yada yada yada.)
But GOD, I went for two classes today and surprisingly, boleh tahan laaa..
Woke up with a few sakit sinih, sakit saneeerh tp still living laa(dah karat kan, screw pun loose). My bontot lebih kecik though, I dunno I've been subconsciously complaining it to anybody who would listen. Or pretend to look interested. Beehcause muh booty is MUH asset! But anyway, nvm. It means it's time to get neeeeww JEANS!!
(For the life of me, I suck in looking for that particular typa pants. You good at it? *nods head at you* Cuz if you are then I need you to teman me get some new ones. Naaw, I don't use Levi's or anything, jeans can come from tepi jalan pun takpe, as long as it looks good on me :P)
Anyway met up with San after gym yesterday for a drink (she just came back from a very EVENTFUL trip in Penang...hmm hmm..*wiggles eyebrows*) Stupid girl didn't get his number. I couldn't chekik-ed her in front of that decent-looking dude with sideburns sitting in front of us.
oh ALIF!! (Kan San, kan?????)
HAW HAW HAW.
I purchased this FANTASTICALLY GORGEOUS new pair of pumps from Marie Claire *psst..it's the leather collection-tee hee* and although it cost a bomb..Oh well, shoes is another thing altogether. I tak pandang harga. Lain tu sume berkire jugak ah but shoeeess...purple pumps. Wanted to get the green one tp dah HABIS and before I could gasp out of breath, I took the LAST pair of the purple ones (Which is, F.Y.I ppl, my second favourite colour)
It was made for me.
Sigh.
Picked up Arlina from Batang Berjuntai with Ibu...good to see her again.
Well ituh saja my life for the past days. Supposed to be in Sungkai handling GIS students but you all pun tau lah kan betapa SAYANGNYA I dekat budak2 GIS tuh. Tak berani dkt kat diorang pun, biarlah Gary handle itu SPOILED BRATS sorang2.
HAHA. I'm terrible. Actually that's why I took the days off, for the fieldtrip but sokay, I'm NOT going to go to the clinic unless they call for an emergency or something.
Alrighdos, that's the current update of my life this time. Nothing much, Arif had some trouble just cutting us off for awhile but he's ok now and I hope he grows up to be a better man in the future. Dia mcm budak kecik lar, I can't stand it sometimes. Really bloody hell annoying and I know what you're thinking so DON'T even bother asking me why I fell for him cuz I dunno the ans myself.
Sometimes not having a reason is all there is anyway.
Toodles ppl. I'm meeting my darling San again for lunch or something. (She cried reading the previous blog post weih..hehehe) Ooi V, why your class with Bimla Fraayday lah, I work night shift laah.
Tp takpe, kite akan mencari jalan untuk mengharungi cabaran dan dugaan yang menghalang kite drpd ber-meeting up.
;D.
Ciaoz peeps, my butts achin' from sitting already. Yow.
Ah anyway, since my 'love life' has finally found it's way back to Mars, here I am..blogging...having a day off from work.. going to gym. Life procedes back to normality once he stops picking me up. Or more like once he's in Penang and we've gone our separate ways.
(Cuz you see, when he picks me up I can't go to the gym you know, cuz we'd spend time with each other and yada yada yada.)
But GOD, I went for two classes today and surprisingly, boleh tahan laaa..
Woke up with a few sakit sinih, sakit saneeerh tp still living laa(dah karat kan, screw pun loose). My bontot lebih kecik though, I dunno I've been subconsciously complaining it to anybody who would listen. Or pretend to look interested. Beehcause muh booty is MUH asset! But anyway, nvm. It means it's time to get neeeeww JEANS!!
(For the life of me, I suck in looking for that particular typa pants. You good at it? *nods head at you* Cuz if you are then I need you to teman me get some new ones. Naaw, I don't use Levi's or anything, jeans can come from tepi jalan pun takpe, as long as it looks good on me :P)
Anyway met up with San after gym yesterday for a drink (she just came back from a very EVENTFUL trip in Penang...hmm hmm..*wiggles eyebrows*) Stupid girl didn't get his number. I couldn't chekik-ed her in front of that decent-looking dude with sideburns sitting in front of us.
oh ALIF!! (Kan San, kan?????)
HAW HAW HAW.
I purchased this FANTASTICALLY GORGEOUS new pair of pumps from Marie Claire *psst..it's the leather collection-tee hee* and although it cost a bomb..Oh well, shoes is another thing altogether. I tak pandang harga. Lain tu sume berkire jugak ah but shoeeess...purple pumps. Wanted to get the green one tp dah HABIS and before I could gasp out of breath, I took the LAST pair of the purple ones (Which is, F.Y.I ppl, my second favourite colour)
It was made for me.
Sigh.
Picked up Arlina from Batang Berjuntai with Ibu...good to see her again.
Well ituh saja my life for the past days. Supposed to be in Sungkai handling GIS students but you all pun tau lah kan betapa SAYANGNYA I dekat budak2 GIS tuh. Tak berani dkt kat diorang pun, biarlah Gary handle itu SPOILED BRATS sorang2.
HAHA. I'm terrible. Actually that's why I took the days off, for the fieldtrip but sokay, I'm NOT going to go to the clinic unless they call for an emergency or something.
Alrighdos, that's the current update of my life this time. Nothing much, Arif had some trouble just cutting us off for awhile but he's ok now and I hope he grows up to be a better man in the future. Dia mcm budak kecik lar, I can't stand it sometimes. Really bloody hell annoying and I know what you're thinking so DON'T even bother asking me why I fell for him cuz I dunno the ans myself.
Sometimes not having a reason is all there is anyway.
Toodles ppl. I'm meeting my darling San again for lunch or something. (She cried reading the previous blog post weih..hehehe) Ooi V, why your class with Bimla Fraayday lah, I work night shift laah.
Tp takpe, kite akan mencari jalan untuk mengharungi cabaran dan dugaan yang menghalang kite drpd ber-meeting up.
;D.
Ciaoz peeps, my butts achin' from sitting already. Yow.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Of love. And sacrifice. Really.
It ended well.
It ended today.
"Tolong pegangkan."
"Buku ape ni?"
"Ibu bagi you."
"Ibu bagi? For what?"
"Ntah...ibu bagi Kak In, Kak Ina, Me, one to Fana and one to you."
"But...I dunno how to read Arab. Ni Arab ke jawi?"
"Jawi."
"Oh ok. Then I boleh baca."
I couldn't read a word. It was a photostated hand-written book and the smaller one copied from a book. But Ibu bagi? She obviously knows.
There was much 'output' from me today when he picked me up. So much frustrations out, all the mini pre-frustrations packed and walloped into one just gushed out from my mouth after we sent Jaya home. I told him things I told before, I sweared at him; I hit him, I questioned him, at one time I teared in my most vulnerable moment, I demanded an answer. I was tired. Be a man, dammit.
And I calmed down at parts where I just needed to let him seep all I've said. He kept quiet all the way. I couldn't look at him. He looked straight at the road.
And when we reached, "I'm sorry".
I gave him my two shits.
"Ok I won't message you anymore, I won't call, I won't see you anymore."
And I was happy that he made the decision. But I cried. I really couldn't help it.
We sat down at the school foyer when waiting for Adlan. And we talked and talked some more. Sometimes I cried. Sometimes he said sorry. There were times where I even laughed and smiled, because I was relieved. That we're finally separated from this 'pressure' built in between us. He was silent most of the time. All he did was look at me and let me do all the talking.
"It would be difficult at first of course, but don't worry ok, I can take care of myself. I have a good feeling bout this."
"But I hurt you. And I love you."
"Doesn't matter, we do what's right. Allah has His reasons why all this happened ok. Kite kena yakin Arif. Macam Mama cakap kan, if things were meant to be, it will happen dengan izin Allah. Maybe it's not gonna happen now, kita 2 belum matang lagi kan."
"I'm sorry Hannah." He continued looking.
"Ah don't worry. Don't be sorry for doing something right. I know it's for the best. You kena redha lar dengan keputusan yang you dah buat."
"But I don't feel happy with it, at all."
"Insya-Allah, hati you akan tenang nanti. You love Fana ok, you must really love her to accept her after she did it the second time Arif. We'll see how it goes."
And I made him promise me stuff and I promised to take care of Mama and Papa.
"The only bad part about this is I can't see Adlan and Ibu anymore... U ah. Takpelar at least Ibu gave me something before this all ended."
He took out the hair from my face and I kept changing my sitting positions. All he did was look.
The school bell rang. Adlan appeared and he salam-ed me and 'Acu'. He held my hands as we walked back to the car.
"Adlan ada homework? Adlan potong rambut eh?"
"A'ah." And he smiled the cutest smile ever with his doggone sleepy eyes.
I took Adlan's picture in the car. It suddenly dawned on me that I'd never pick him up from school again or buy him Happy Meals with Arif. Or I'd layan him with the free toys that come with it.
And I teared because I am positively in love with the 7 year-old brat.
And Arif held my hands. For the first and last time. He didn't allow me to pull away throughout the whole journey home.
"Why did it have to end like this? Why did it have to start and end like this?"
He's right. It all started and ended the exact same way.
"Let me buy you coffee please. Or chocolate."
He wanted to spend more time with me. Not possible.
"No. No, you need to let me go soon anyway."
"Not now, no. Please, let me get you something. Anything."
He held my hand tighter.
I looked away till we reached home. He took my hand in both of his and looked at me. I smiled.
"Time to go."
"Adlan salam mama."
"Bye mama." And he smiled his most sincere smile ever. My heart melted at the sight of it. Oh the innocence of a young child. He jumped to the front seat and waved.
Arif looked at me expectantly.
"Bye."
And he waited till I got through the gates to the front door. I looked back and he left.
I found Mama peeking through the curtains.
"What? I was just looking, cannot ah."
I sighed and balanced my right arm on the front door gate.
"It's over."
"What's over?"
"Me and him. We're not gonna call or msg or meet each other anymore." And my tears suddenly flowed again, there and then. I cried at the front door.
"Awwh..." And she held out her hands for me to hug her.
"What you go through when you're growing up Nona..."
"Yeah I know. And I dunno how to read Arab. Jawi. Anyway I'm gonna be down the whole night today Ma."
She looked through the books Ibu gave and told Papa what happened. "Read the books eh, orang dah bagi."
It was some books pasal solat and hadith and stuff.
"Yang tua tu dah suke yang kat muda lah."..."Arif dah ade girlfriend.."..."Macam tu lar..." Mama told Papa. My father's a bit slow.
"Sebenarnye dalam Islam tak boleh mcm tu tau. You need to be friends."
"We tried, it didn't work. Nevermind lah, we'll see how it goes."
"Yeah, you're still young."
Kakak was all out for us going our separate ways cuz she's been cheated on before.
"It should be that way what!" She shrieked.
(She's been bugging me to think about it, to not stoop so low as the girl and blah blah blah. I got her. I really did.)
It lasted a month. No, we were never together but we got 'close'. I'm glad it didn't go any further.
I'm still ok now, I feeling much calmer about things. Everything.
I'm not the 'other girl' anymore and I'm happy he made the decision by himself. Rather than me, constantly ordering and forcing him to DO something about the situation, yet loving him at the same time.
We'll see.
I didn't feel too hard-pressed because this is what I 'wanted'. Somewhere deep inside me I know I'm contented.
It ended quite, quite well.
It ended today.
"Tolong pegangkan."
"Buku ape ni?"
"Ibu bagi you."
"Ibu bagi? For what?"
"Ntah...ibu bagi Kak In, Kak Ina, Me, one to Fana and one to you."
"But...I dunno how to read Arab. Ni Arab ke jawi?"
"Jawi."
"Oh ok. Then I boleh baca."
I couldn't read a word. It was a photostated hand-written book and the smaller one copied from a book. But Ibu bagi? She obviously knows.
There was much 'output' from me today when he picked me up. So much frustrations out, all the mini pre-frustrations packed and walloped into one just gushed out from my mouth after we sent Jaya home. I told him things I told before, I sweared at him; I hit him, I questioned him, at one time I teared in my most vulnerable moment, I demanded an answer. I was tired. Be a man, dammit.
And I calmed down at parts where I just needed to let him seep all I've said. He kept quiet all the way. I couldn't look at him. He looked straight at the road.
And when we reached, "I'm sorry".
I gave him my two shits.
"Ok I won't message you anymore, I won't call, I won't see you anymore."
And I was happy that he made the decision. But I cried. I really couldn't help it.
We sat down at the school foyer when waiting for Adlan. And we talked and talked some more. Sometimes I cried. Sometimes he said sorry. There were times where I even laughed and smiled, because I was relieved. That we're finally separated from this 'pressure' built in between us. He was silent most of the time. All he did was look at me and let me do all the talking.
"It would be difficult at first of course, but don't worry ok, I can take care of myself. I have a good feeling bout this."
"But I hurt you. And I love you."
"Doesn't matter, we do what's right. Allah has His reasons why all this happened ok. Kite kena yakin Arif. Macam Mama cakap kan, if things were meant to be, it will happen dengan izin Allah. Maybe it's not gonna happen now, kita 2 belum matang lagi kan."
"I'm sorry Hannah." He continued looking.
"Ah don't worry. Don't be sorry for doing something right. I know it's for the best. You kena redha lar dengan keputusan yang you dah buat."
"But I don't feel happy with it, at all."
"Insya-Allah, hati you akan tenang nanti. You love Fana ok, you must really love her to accept her after she did it the second time Arif. We'll see how it goes."
And I made him promise me stuff and I promised to take care of Mama and Papa.
"The only bad part about this is I can't see Adlan and Ibu anymore... U ah. Takpelar at least Ibu gave me something before this all ended."
He took out the hair from my face and I kept changing my sitting positions. All he did was look.
The school bell rang. Adlan appeared and he salam-ed me and 'Acu'. He held my hands as we walked back to the car.
"Adlan ada homework? Adlan potong rambut eh?"
"A'ah." And he smiled the cutest smile ever with his doggone sleepy eyes.
I took Adlan's picture in the car. It suddenly dawned on me that I'd never pick him up from school again or buy him Happy Meals with Arif. Or I'd layan him with the free toys that come with it.
And I teared because I am positively in love with the 7 year-old brat.
And Arif held my hands. For the first and last time. He didn't allow me to pull away throughout the whole journey home.
"Why did it have to end like this? Why did it have to start and end like this?"
He's right. It all started and ended the exact same way.
"Let me buy you coffee please. Or chocolate."
He wanted to spend more time with me. Not possible.
"No. No, you need to let me go soon anyway."
"Not now, no. Please, let me get you something. Anything."
He held my hand tighter.
I looked away till we reached home. He took my hand in both of his and looked at me. I smiled.
"Time to go."
"Adlan salam mama."
"Bye mama." And he smiled his most sincere smile ever. My heart melted at the sight of it. Oh the innocence of a young child. He jumped to the front seat and waved.
Arif looked at me expectantly.
"Bye."
And he waited till I got through the gates to the front door. I looked back and he left.
I found Mama peeking through the curtains.
"What? I was just looking, cannot ah."
I sighed and balanced my right arm on the front door gate.
"It's over."
"What's over?"
"Me and him. We're not gonna call or msg or meet each other anymore." And my tears suddenly flowed again, there and then. I cried at the front door.
"Awwh..." And she held out her hands for me to hug her.
"What you go through when you're growing up Nona..."
"Yeah I know. And I dunno how to read Arab. Jawi. Anyway I'm gonna be down the whole night today Ma."
She looked through the books Ibu gave and told Papa what happened. "Read the books eh, orang dah bagi."
It was some books pasal solat and hadith and stuff.
"Yang tua tu dah suke yang kat muda lah."..."Arif dah ade girlfriend.."..."Macam tu lar..." Mama told Papa. My father's a bit slow.
"Sebenarnye dalam Islam tak boleh mcm tu tau. You need to be friends."
"We tried, it didn't work. Nevermind lah, we'll see how it goes."
"Yeah, you're still young."
Kakak was all out for us going our separate ways cuz she's been cheated on before.
"It should be that way what!" She shrieked.
(She's been bugging me to think about it, to not stoop so low as the girl and blah blah blah. I got her. I really did.)
It lasted a month. No, we were never together but we got 'close'. I'm glad it didn't go any further.
I'm still ok now, I feeling much calmer about things. Everything.
I'm not the 'other girl' anymore and I'm happy he made the decision by himself. Rather than me, constantly ordering and forcing him to DO something about the situation, yet loving him at the same time.
We'll see.
I didn't feel too hard-pressed because this is what I 'wanted'. Somewhere deep inside me I know I'm contented.
It ended quite, quite well.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Nutter punye keje.
It started like this,
I put on a new lipstick.
A colour I bought,
but never used it.
It was a lovely Sunday,
no cars wheezing by.
I wanted to walk
But papa wouldn't allow it.
The colour was lovely
an orangey-pink.
I was obviously positively glowing :)
He woke me up, saying,
"Wake up sayang, it's 6.19, Subuh already."
It's only last night
that we went mamak-ing.
It was a lovely day,
I finished the clinic's monthly Billing.
I laughed so much;
till Jagdish's tears started pouring.
Muji's going back
We spring-cleaned the clinic.
He said, 'Baby should I wear baju Melayu or jeans?'
'It's a freaking wedding babe.... pakailah jeans' :P
I'm listening to Marvin Gaye
'Oooooooooooh Baaaaaaaaaaaaby..'
Then a little bit of Jamie Scott.
Britney, Wyclef Jean,
some Joshua Radin;
while eating Jacob's high-fibre biscuits.
It's been a lovely day, really.
I tied up my hair
and didn't look half messy.
I did my job well;
I didn't break anything.
Ok so he said something stupid (again)
but that's about it.
I put on a new lipstick.
A colour I bought,
but never used it.
It was a lovely Sunday,
no cars wheezing by.
I wanted to walk
But papa wouldn't allow it.
The colour was lovely
an orangey-pink.
I was obviously positively glowing :)
He woke me up, saying,
"Wake up sayang, it's 6.19, Subuh already."
It's only last night
that we went mamak-ing.
It was a lovely day,
I finished the clinic's monthly Billing.
I laughed so much;
till Jagdish's tears started pouring.
Muji's going back
We spring-cleaned the clinic.
He said, 'Baby should I wear baju Melayu or jeans?'
'It's a freaking wedding babe.... pakailah jeans' :P
I'm listening to Marvin Gaye
'Oooooooooooh Baaaaaaaaaaaaby..'
Then a little bit of Jamie Scott.
Britney, Wyclef Jean,
some Joshua Radin;
while eating Jacob's high-fibre biscuits.
It's been a lovely day, really.
I tied up my hair
and didn't look half messy.
I did my job well;
I didn't break anything.
Ok so he said something stupid (again)
but that's about it.
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